I was reading Carolyn Hax and she was talking about getting all the areas of your life in order – career, home, love, etc. I don’t even know what etc is but I do know that it is hard to get everything on the same level and keep it there for a sustained period of time – something is always going to fall back and cause change, which causes stress, which causes life.
Archive for January, 2007
One of the traders at my company is coming in with buddies to celebrate a bachelor party – what better place than New Orleans at the start of Mardi Gras. They are staying in the Quarter, I think on Bourbon Street. He sends me an instant message that says this:
“We heard the ATMs are not working down there and so we should bring lots of cash.”
Whoa Nelly – I said are you kidding me – we are fully functioning and please DON’T bring lots of cash because it is New Orleans, it is the French Quarter, and it is the real start of Mardi Gras with the first parade getting under way this Saturday night.
But what goes on? We are devasted but we have ATMs. There needs to be some public service announcement.
So a friend wrote to me offering up some frightening stats about her state of affairs. It made me ponder my own stats, which then frightened me. So I sent an email to three different girlfriends and asked what they thought about my stats.
The first wise woman wrote that I am weird.
The second wrote back as if she were arguing my case in court and the verdict was – um – I was tried and sentenced without uttering a defense, so I’m really fucked – and I hate being fucked (one of my favorite expressions another girlfriend of mine is wont to say).
The last wise woman said she thinks it is all part of the grand plan and that this too shall pass.
L came by to see the progress on the house and she went through every room commenting on each and every thing – the windows, the shutters, the Carrara slab, the bathtub, the red tiles in the guest bathroom, the office and when she was leaving she said this is a “spectacular” home and I said, whoa, big word for the LaLa, and she said no, really, a spectacular home that fits you to a T.
I think she’s right!
Today while the plumber and his son were on the front porch and Timothy was stringing off where the concrete sidewalk is to go, about a dozen pelicans were putting on an air show that made the Blue Angels seem trite. They were swooping in loopty loos in and around the bayou and then falling like stones and emerging with fish in their anachronistic beaks. It was so amazing that we all just stood there mesmerized by them. Louie said, “Bet you don’t see that in California.” “Nope,” I said.
But wait there’s more – aside from the beautiful brown pelicans – our own little aviary also has Great Egrets, Anhingas, Seagulls and Mallards. Quite a sight to behold.
Beth and Kerry joined Evan and Graham and I at Lola’s – I was headed to the concert or home, when B&K said they’d go to Lola’s and so I decided to stay and join the group. It was a nice group, a good gathering, and it wasn’t where I was headed – bed or music – but losing myself into another plan actually was the best option – I told everyone next time we’d be having dinner at the LaLa – then I was in bed by 10:30ish.
I have graduated from Ellen twice but keep seeing her – I like her for goodness sakes. So yesterday, we were talking about the state of the union and she seemed to be encouraging, ney pushing me to open myself up further. Here I am thinking I’m all open and all, but she’s sees guardedness and holding back. It’s good to get her bird’s eye view on my patterns of behavior.
Last night I cobbled myself together and went to Swirl still not knowing if I could make it through the night and get to the Parish to see The Gourds. They changed the concert time from 9PM to 10:30PM – sorry guys, but it was a school night, what are you thinking? Evan is in town and it was so good to see him. I was asking him some questions, his male perspective and he was pretty insightful in a different way. He said, and G and I both applauded this statement, you don’t know what another person’s experiences have been so you can’t judge their behavior on what you would do in this situation because you have different life experiences. Sounds simple, I know, but you know what I do kinda, sorta, naturally expect people to react the same way I do, and forget that I am, my life experience is, my relationship world view of men and women is, very different from the average bear. So how can I myopically telescope my behavior onto others – how unfair is that?
Yesterday afternoon, Chris from Pieri came by to see if there was any way to fix the misplaced faucet holes in the slabs in the bathrooms. There isn’t. He just looked so forlorn I wanted to hug him – he said he got yelled at for his mistake. He just kept shaking his head as in disbelief – it is weird because it is so obvious to the naked eye (mine) that it is shifted one inch to the left so even if that was what the template was saying, it would seem that you wouldn’t have followed it. I felt bad for him but told him it was simply unacceptable and he knew. Now it’s back to the drawing board. I still want to hug him.
Last Friday at Swirl, I got into a conversation with Bob about the power of the mind. He was reading a book that touted an individual’s ability to make his or her own world. I’m a big fan of this concept – and love artist, Louise Nelson’s quote: “I have made my world and it is a better one that what was offered me.”
I woke this morning and decided I was not going to get down and dirty with the LaLa – I wasn’t going to let Javier mess with my mind, or Louie not showing up be a source of agitation, no more than I would worry about the fact that Pieri had cut the holes for the faucets wrong – because you know what? – it’s all good.
And so it is. A person possesses an incredible amount of control over his or her environment – it’s the power of the mind to visualize it good, to dream about it better, and to enjoy every fucking minute of it.
Rusty darts across the room back to his place under the chair when I open the door. He hisses at Arlene if she gets too close. He eats like a lion and uses the litter box like one also. He definitely has a male presence in this house.
Arlene follows me around like I’m about to leave her forever – she wants to be close, this close, till I can feel her wet nose grazing my calves.
Giovanni went on a three-day drunk, he said he overdid it, I told him he needs to take more frequent breaks.
Javier and Arturo smile and talk about how they are almost finished, meanwhile so much remains. Once again the carpenter communication breakdown – is this endemic to this profession?
Steve gives me the name of a carpet installer – the guy’s name is Grumpy – but Dave says he is a not.
David at Pieri says he can fix the misplaced faucet holes and with luck they will be hidden under the escutcheons or bells as he likes to call them.
Laurie, who started her own major renovation today, asks if she is the only person in the world who has never heard of escutcheons. She also ate an entire shrimp poboy with a bag of Cheetos and ate a pint of ice cream – this is what pregnant women do, I reckon.
Graham is picking up Evan as he flies in from Paris to be here for a few days. Evan has become a cycle.
I finally went to the grocery but opted for Sav-A-Center instead of Whole Foods and guess what – it deserves it’s name because I spent $76 on a lot of food as opposed to Whole Wallet where it costs $76 just to pick up bagels.
Mom went back to work today after being out for a week – she was worried about her job – when she got there the new RN had quit and other nurses hadn’t shown up – I keep trying to tell her that no one wants her job so she has no worries.