It’s been a while since we’ve gone over to Swirl because the past few Fridays have seen the day carry way too deep into the night, so tonight, on this three day weekend, we’re going over to see our friends and get out of the house. TGIF and it’s a 3-day weekend – what more could you ask for?
I took Loca as planned to have lunch with mom and picked up burgers at Lee’s on the way. My goal: to go spend time with her and not judge and to let Loca be my healing lab partner.
I found her with another black eye. She had fallen again and now had another black eye on the other side and a twisted ankle.
She said she wouldn’t use the walker because she was going to get better, so she didn’t need it.
Om Om Om – my thought bubble chanted.
We sat on the sofa and Loca came close to beg for food and mom said, “Loca! When did you become such a beggar?”
And I said when people started feeding her human food that makes her turn up her nose to dog food. She’s not a dumb dog.
I got up to look for a napkin in the kitchen, mom called out to me in a sing songy voice, “I think I’m in love.”
“With whom pray tell?” I asked.
She giggled and said, “Obama.”
When I sat back down on the sofa, I said, “Stand in line.”
Loca was sitting straight as an arrow right by me waiting for an ort. I said, “Loca looks like Obama.”
Mom fell backwards on the sofa belly laughing.
“But she does,” I said, “she’s beautiful and sleek and black and looks like she could be Obama dog.”
If you om enough times do you know that it spells mom?
omomomomomomomomomom
Today was my day off so what did I do – EVERYTHING – laundry, grocery, mom, adoption book, make the bed. I am now about to enter the neutral zone – the land where nothing gets done and no one cares. Watch me now.
Yesterday, friends borrowed the canoe and took their young children out for a paddle, only no one was watching the horizon and the same storm that had passed through downtown earlier finally made its way to the bayou and as they were out in the middle of the water, the sky grew ominously black, the lightning and thunder kicked in and the wind started howling. A little daunted, they tried to paddle back to our shore but were facing a bit of a headwind.
My neighbor spotted the situation and ran from her house and got them safely to shore on the other side and brought them back in time to save them from the storm.
Well happy almost fourth of July. I don’t know about you but this three day weekend is the first time it felt anything remotely like summer in the sense that I can envision some leisure time. Loca and I went for an early walk this morning to beat the heat and we were shocked by the number of people out so early – we’ve been such sleepy heads lately, not getting out till 7 or 7:30 most mornings when it is already too hot for man or beast. But we watched the big red ball of a sun in the horizon and it hadn’t started to sizzle yet so we were able to appreciate it.
We had gotten to a point where most people I speak with had digested the bad news of the recession and then after the initial shock and then realization that it would be a long time to climb out of this, suddenly bad news about unemployment has triggered another round of shock.
How is that? Excuse me didn’t they say that it is going to take a long time to climb out of this mess we made.
And in the meantime, aren’t we supposed to be focused on better living, more meaningful pursuits, and giving up on things like certainty.
Well, today is almost the 4th of July, a year plus later, and what do you have to say for yourself – are you pursuing more meaningful paths, focusing on better living?
Baby steps.
My stylist, who not only gives me a good haircut and color, also always has a new piece of music I need to check out. The last one he recommended was Michael Franti, who is coming back through New Orleans and who I will sadly miss because I’ll be out of town. But Franti’s music has got a wonderful feel to it – even the 14 year old said so herself (and she knows everything). His message that he seamlessly weaves through his songs is simple:
POWER TO THE PEACEFUL
Today, the sky opened up and out came hail, thunder, lightning and lots of rain – the sideways kind – the type of storm I love and missed in California. I was getting my hair done as I’m still trying to undo almost two decades of red when my mother called and said she had not gotten out of bed all day but heard about this dangerous storm and wanted me to go home immediately.
As we did our yoga class to Michael Jackson, we were supposed to be keeping our path in full surround sound view. What I could think about is my mother and how in stubbornly clinging to an image of how I want things to be, I’m missing out on what is. A lot of times when I am fed up with her, I console myself for not going over there by saying that she never went to see her mother who was only an hour away, so why should I go see her when she is twenty minutes away.
But today, in my advertising frame on mind that I was in, looking down at my yoga mat and visualizing my path, I thought I’m not my mother.
So tomorrow, I’ll take Loca, the clown, and go visit and I will just breathe my way through any judgments that arise and try to enjoy my visit and hopefully, she will enjoy it as well.
In the coming months we have a lot of travel ahead of us. There is Portugal and then Nantucket for me and Boston for T and then California and somewhere peppered in between might be a visit to meet a birthmother and then business travel. From this vantage point it is all in the future and we sit quietly in our house and crawl in our bed at night and know we will wake to our tea and dogs and cat in the morning – but before you know it, we will be in motion with planes, trains and automobiles and at some point we will be waking up in a bed that we don’t know and drinking coffee or tea where we find it and wondering when it is that this will stop and we will be home, in our routine, back in our skin.
And then it will be November and the pelicans will return to the bayou.