When I went to see the Dalai Lama I bought some prayer beads that I intended to use as a rosary of sorts to count off the things I am grateful for, but instead I took my beads to my friend who has just had most of her innards removed because of cancer.
My friend said she had started a gratitude journal already and that made me feel good about her path ahead. I was thinking about all the things I’m grateful for as I came home and one of them would be Cleveland Avenue. It’s not the bayou, it’s not the LaLa, but on it dwells my Spirit House through and through – let me explain …
I was unsure about what I wanted when I left the LaLa – build a new house, buy a house, mortgage, construction, rent – what have you – I was adrift, but some steady moving sidewalk brought me into this house and sent chills up my spine when I was inside. Every house has a Spirit and this one said to me, “Take your shoes off. You’re home!”
After I moved in, I was in the kitchen stacking dishes in the cabinet and making breakfast for Tin, and I had this glorious sense of peace as I watched him eat. Cooking for my loved ones is always at the top of my priorities – QED: last night, I had friends over to help me hang my artwork and I made gin & tonics, shrimp curry and jasmine rice with fresh broccoli. Yum. We hung one painting.
I like the idea that this house is not as precious as the LaLa was – the LaLa was a closed deal, it was pre-designed, pre-ordained, and I always felt like a custodian rather than a dweller. This house feels like I could do whatever the fuck I want and who the hell cares but me – it’s my house – it’s my whatever I want it to be. Hence the chalkboard walls in Tin’s room and in the kitchen with messages to remind myself of this fact.
When the LaLa was up for sale, a guy I know walked through the open house with his new girlfriend – later, my neighbor told me his girlfriend said the house had bad energy. I don’t believe it for a second – I believe my neighbor had issues and if the girl indeed said that then she doesn’t know energy from shmenergy. I embodied the LaLa and all the problems I had within that container – I was in a seven year change that brought about so much collateral damage, I’m surprised anyone is still speaking to me.
This house has a different energy. It says come in, relax, be. Every moment Tin and I have spent together in it has created a soulful sense of place for me, for us, here.
So this brings me back to the Spirit in the House. I had read up on feng shui – and moved some things around in this house to align with those principles. The main one is to locate your center of being the furthest away from the door with a commanding position looking towards it.
Another principle I read was your bed should have a solid headboard especially if you want to enjoy a healthy sex life. So I happened upon a walnut bookcase headboard, which was perfect for me. And two days ago, when I was trying to plug in my clock and moving the king size bed out of the way while crawling under the headboard, I saw something taped up in the headboard on the other side of the bed from where I sleep. It was a miniature Saint/Spirit/Statue.
As the Spirit revealed itself to me, it made me smile so big I thought my face would crack.
I taped the Spirit back in its corner and felt once again that joy/gratitude/love is something you pass along and the more you push out, the more comes back at you, like this endless tide.
And understanding this, and for everything, I am grateful.