The other day as I was trying to get Tin up and ready and fed and out the door and it was taking an impossibly long time and I had so many other things to do, accomplish, etc. I just took a deep breath and said, “Self, this is what you are doing now. You have a toddler and he moves slowly discovering the world through his own lens and so either you don’t want to be here or you have to accept that this is where you are.” And my self was glad that I had that little pep talk.
Last night, when Tin said he wanted pasta and of course, he pulled the penne pasta out of the pantry and wanted pesto, I told him no because we were making a big bowl of pesto for his birthday party. So instead he pulled the stool up and watched me make pasta primavera. He was so thrilled out of his mind to see the “butterfly” pasta (read: farfalle) that he kept laughing and laughing about butterfly pasta – and he ate all of his primavera pasta except for the sun dried tomato bits.
The thing is that we were there – cooking together and he told me, “Mommy, when I get bigger I’m going to cook for you.”
Awesome, I told him.
Today, I went to yoga and it was good to finally get back to my body which has been UBER neglected over the last four months from varying illnesses to travel to whatnot – yesterday, it was I think I am having a heart attack – but it could have been avocado for breakfast – don’t laugh, it was serious. Well it felt like a heart attack and I was out walking the dogs and talking to my neighbor who was dealing with her own tragedy so I didn’t want to throw up a red flag, instead I sat on her stoop and said I was feeling peaked.
The yoga message today was there is no time wasted which was good to hear because I was almost convinced they would talk about sex given the scandal that John Friend who started Anusara yoga is in.
And in just saying that to myself that my time is not going to waste and this is what I am doing now and so be present, I actually managed to accomplish a lot today without spazzing out and feeling unproductive. I ate my split pea soup that I had made and frozen a while back. Yesterday we ate the vegan broccoli zucchini soup from my friend’s recipe – so good – yum.
It was close 80 degrees today – it’s March – don’t even ask.