Archive for 2018

Where have you been?

Thursday, November 29th, 2018

I had a ritual once, it was that I had to write in this blog. I had to write in a journal. I had to record. Capture. Then I had a child and I had to write about that experience on another blog. And then life got really interesting, so layered there was no way to sit down and write a paragraph or a line to describe it, so I crawled inside this cluttered mind of mine and started weeding out, purging, regurging, repurposing. I meditated. I walked. I moved. I shifted.

My rituals have not aligned. My go to’s are not even recognizable. My own self has unfurled.

I spoke today with a friend who has had a breakthrough in a memoir she has been writing for four years. She feels confident she has a book that is publishable. She thinks this is the next step. I say this without cynicism: I don’t want to know the next step because I’m fixated on the raising of the leg to make the step before it is a step before it is a next.

I don’t know how I came to this perspective which is not one – it is a swirling mass of creation once again as if I too have just realized the mist is clearing and now I’m busy creating where once I was waiting.

I’m not good at this blog anymore. I’m not good at writing, at journaling, documenting. I don’t know what I want to say.

The woman you see here lost all that she was, and she is becoming yet again.

It’s Happening

Friday, November 16th, 2018

Ikigai (pronounced I kuh guy)

Thursday, July 12th, 2018

Fire in Me

Thursday, July 12th, 2018

Tin tells his friends not to mess with me, he says, “My mom’s the nine-tailed fox.” The nine-tailed fox is a shape shifting fox, beautiful woman, spirit in Naruto, Tin’s favorite Japanese anime.

I tell him I am part my mother and part my father and that dad part is undiluted Latin and Sephardic fire blood. So don’t mistake my good (mom) nature for timid, because the nine-tailed fox will come out and then it is flame on.

The Beginning is Near

Wednesday, July 11th, 2018

I’ll Do My Crying In The Rain

Sunday, January 28th, 2018

The universe is apt to send me messages when I need them most, and it’s to these message that I listen.

About my son – yesterday while practicing with the Amazons for our inaugural parade, a woman approached me the NOMA cafe and said, “I know you. I have read your writing. And we were at an event together when my son fell through the bleachers and your son was the first one there to help him.”

About my blog – Katie approached me in Trader Joe’s today to tell me that she knows me. “I used to read your blog. I had moved to Mississippi but I used to live on Moss and I think I wrote you once, and you said you could hear the Cabrini bells ringing. I sent you that anonymous painting.” See painting below whose title is the title of this post.

About my look – A stock person in Trader Joe’s brought me a dozen roses and said, “I know you are going through a lot right now.” Why, yes I am, I thought, but said, “I actually have an auto-immune condition, which is why I don’t have hair.” She said, “Still you deserve these.”

About my faith – I dropped Tin off at Sunday school and went to a shul meeting about becoming a sanctuary for illegal immigrants. The church two blocks down from me, First Grace, is the only place of worship that has become a sanctuary in a city that is a declared sanctuary. First Grace is housing José (#JoséIsMyNeighbor signs are everywhere in my neighborhood). At every turn I’m confronted with those people and places who actively counter the Trump administration narrative.

I Did Not Know How To Be The Mother of a Black Son

Tuesday, January 2nd, 2018

https://medium.com/@racheldangermond_49279/i-did-not-know-how-to-be-the-mother-of-a-black-son-bc76471cb3aa

View at Medium.com