I got myself all worked up about housing yet again and then last night tried to take it down a couple of notches. What am I waiting for? Entertaining friends all day and night yesterday, I had candles lit in the living room; I watched the streams of people moving in and out of Jazz Fest in the pouring rain and in the sunshine; I cooked breakfast for friends, served dinner for friends. In other words, I have a house, the one I’m living in. So what is the deal with the freak out on housing?
I have an offer in on a lot, a letter sent out about another lot, and just secured the number of an owner of yet another lot. There are lots of lots. But late last night when I lay in bed ruminating, as I’m want to do, I thought about the lots and about the house that I would build on the lots and about the life I would have in that house on that lot, and I thought what the hell is wrong with me? Why am I projecting out and out and out when I’m living now and now and now?
This morning, I read a few passages in my Power of Now, and came to the distinct conclusion that I need to channel the Power of Nada – el podre de nada – that is what I need instead of all of this ruminating about how when this happens, then this will happen, and then I will twinkle my nose and be transformed into that place where my life begins. Good grief.
A woman emailed me this morning, she had stayed at the LaLa when I was renting it out via VRBO. She wanted to know about the cabinets in the kitchen, the specs etc. I sent her a photograph and I told her what I knew about them and said I had sadly sold the house in January. I was surprised by what she said, she wrote back that she could totally relate because they too had downsized, had sold their great house, but that they had in the meantime, found their dream house and she knew I would too.
Wow, the comfort of strangers. That was relatively effortless. Sometimes, and it seems like a lot of times these days through cyber space, a stranger reaches out and pats you on the back and says, “I’m proud of you.” “You’re doing a good job.” “Keep it up, it will all be okay.” And there you are right as rain.
Today, ommmmmmmm, I’m channeling el podre de nada.