Waking up from a fog
Mother died today, or was it yesterday?
It’s a few minutes passed midnight and I was awakened out of a sleeping pill haze in a hotel room in NY and told my mother had passed. All I could think of is how my mother told me that she thanks god every day for me, and I now find myself saying the same thing back to her. My mother was quite a character, a sort of anti heroine in a page-turning narrative, a beautiful bad girl who glided through the world with a huge, open heart and enormous fears of the reality she could not suffer.
At the end of the day, you wish you could enlarge the moments spent with those you love – you seem to only really understand this as they are slipping away from you. If your mother is alive, call her today and tell her you love her and thank her for being your mother. Give her a big kiss from me.
My mother said to look for dogs as a sign that she is with me – again I laugh – how many dogs do I know?
I will look for dogs Mom and all around me, wagging their tail, loving unconditionally, and I will sense you are there with me the whole time.
Mother died today – no it was yesterday. May she rest in peace.
December 1st, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Words cannot measure the loss of a mother, but the loss is lessened when you share it as you have here. I’m sorry for your loss.
December 2nd, 2009 at 8:27 am
Thanks Alice, I truly feel she is at peace at last.
November 13th, 2012 at 11:02 am
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