Bolted out of bed this morning after having a rambling dream that included Vince Vaughn. When I got outside the dawn was like a blazing fire in the sky and I said thanks to the sky as Arlene and I rushed to catch up with friends for our daily constitution. N was in a funk because of uncertainty at UNO and the Snake is sick and a general malaise that surrounds all of us here…
Slept for the first time in weeks but with the usual up at 1, 3 and 5 – L says that’s his pattern too – the old 1, 3, and 5. But dreamt all night long – dreams that had no end and all centering around frustration. And woke wakeful but with a sense of dread with no clear direction as to where it was going to come. When the Bean and I walked out…
Yesterday mom had surgery to clear up the obstruction – there was all the nail biting that goes with her going under, but she came through surprisingly well and her only gripe is having to stay in the hospital through the week as she is already getting agitated. S was very agitated at her being in the same hospital that nearly killed her four years ago. But then began enumerating her own hardships right now…
Wretched week that started with me enforcing the unwinding with N and then culminated with S and I plunging the depths of our marriage and what went wrong and could we get it back? all the way to Wednesday when S came across all of my correspondence with N and unfortunately read it. And let me count the days of tears – no I’m not sitting on the stairs anymore crying, which is what I…
I will not send emails after cocktails – I will not send emails after cocktails – I will not send emails after cocktails – times infinity. Although cheered as a hero this morning……..sometimes cocktails help get to the point – um – rather quickly. Miss my Bean already – sigh…………….off to SF.