Will we survive left to our own here in New Orleans?
Slept for the first time in weeks but with the usual up at 1, 3 and 5 – L says that’s his pattern too – the old 1, 3, and 5. But dreamt all night long – dreams that had no end and all centering around frustration. And woke wakeful but with a sense of dread with no clear direction as to where it was going to come.
When the Bean and I walked out to the bayou this morning L started yelling at me frantically from the other side so I ran across the foot bridge and discovered a drowing dog trying to get out. I took Arlene’s leash and tried to leash him and hoist him up but he was a big ole dog and I was on my knees and still couldn’t lift him – not to mention he was freezing and scared to death – so then L got on the other side and scruffed him by the collar and hoisted him up with me pulling the leash. When he got out he was still scared and let me pet him but snarled at L. He had no ID so I let him off the leash and he went off in the opposite direction – hopefully to his home.
I got home to a day jammed with things to do and no time to do any of them to any satisfactory degree – meet contractor, back to back work conf calls, mom @ hospital, lists for LaLa, and so on.
S emailed to say he had rented a place in SF near where we used to live in North Beach. He also said that a friend of ours is not doing so well healthwise and that was sad. We are in a good place of being able to connect even though we are not connecting. His days are stacked up with lunch and dinners with friends and he feels happy to be in SF. I told him wild boars couldn’t drag me back there.
Then an afternoon with W – bribery to get him to run an errand with me – bring mom lotion and make up – the essentials – and W was such a sweetie in the hospital room, not weirded out to see a woman laying there with a tube up her nose – mom told him she loved him. Then off to Toys R Us to make good on the bribe and couldn’t say no to everything he had eyes for – came home and built a fort and made dinner and put together an impossible lego contraption. Then it seemed a short time before it was time to take him home.
Saw N and the Snake and word up is that UNO is cutting back degrees and tenured positions – everyone wondering who will get the first pink slip. Another post Katrina anxiety moment. We watched some of the Grammys and made fun of the usual suspects – Paul, Mariah, and the rest. Just trying to hang and be normal.
Today was a sunny beautiful day but it started with dread that kind of wrapped itself around the rest of the day even though there were hours where it seemed like you could forget all the mess and do what was in front of you and enjoy but all the enjoyment was short lived.
L in his wrestle with K, and out there trying to be normal when things aren’t. N and the Snake talking about maybe having to leave NO. C sending me emails that are pointed and disturbing. And other areas just getting more mired in funk that it seems like quicksand around here.
But as S says – take it one day at a time, one item at a time, and you will get through. She saves me sometimes with her wisdom and I lean on her sometimes too hard even though she is wont to remind me of the time I saved her – it was so long ago, and believe me, she has made it up to me in spades. I miss our trips when we wake up at some ungodly hour and are in bed and talk with the lights off and wonder about everything – the big stuff to the little stuff – never coming to any real good conclusion but always feeling fortified to go on.
In a few days the first parade…….