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I’m living in a world where everything that I used to reach for has become uninteresting. And I’m trying to suss out what is interesting to me. And I don’t have answers (yet). I was always the one who loved arriving at happy hour to have that first glass of wine with friends. I loved the warmth that would spread through my body as a delicious glass of pinot noir worked its way down my…
Note to self: I choose growth over fear. When I was in Bisbee, AZ late last year, an oracle said that she saw me on the back of an eagle, and I was able to look down and around with my super power, which was the ability to pivot as needed. Once again, I have found that pivoting is getting to be a muscle I’m having to use more often than I had hoped. Today…
On August 3, 2024, my son was admitted to Stonewater Adolescent Recovery Center. His use of marijuana to deal with trauma was unsustainable. He did well at Stonewater, and I might add, they did well by him. It was recommended by all those who cared about his progress that he go into a therapeutic boarding school for an extended period. I chose In Balance Ranch Academy because it involved equine therapy and music and art.…
I’d like to move away from social media and know my friends privately. While I talk to my son about how screens are another form of addiction, I death scroll nightly through my phone looking at Instagram as if it held the key to knowledge and understanding. It does not. My knowledge and wisdom are vast, but I don’t treat my encyclopedic experience as if it matters. I read a post on Instagram and take…
(Turn Around)Every now and then, I get a little bit lonelyAnd you’re never coming ’round(Turn Around)Every now and then, I get a little bit tiredOf listening to the sound of my tears(Turn around)Every now and then, I get a little bit nervousThat the best of all the years have gone by(Turn around)Every now and then, I get a little bit terrifiedAnd then I see the look in your eyes Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bonnie…
The phrase of the day is life is lifing. It’s what my friend said when I asked about her husband who had cancer and was dying. It’s a phrase that has been used to say right now it’s not good, it’s not bad. Lifing holds in its orbit all things that could happen to a person on a given day, in a lived life. I have worked diligently to calm my nervous system from all…
What if the very thing that destroys you also saves you? In May 2005, I moved home to New Orleans after being away for 16 years in California. I was fighting demons. I had miscarried ten times. I had slept with my best friend, who was also my husband’s best friend. I was not in my best form. I had advanced into familiar chaos. I had been trying to build a family, better than the…
This weekend is Booker Fest, a big deal around the 100 Men Hall and a big deal for me who is always scrambling like crazy to get it all together. This week, my brother text me that he was coming to New Orleans and it is the third of Elul, the 40th anniversary of my father’s death, and we should all meet at his grave. Imagine the conflict – so much to do for the…
There is a song Linda Ronstadt sings, from her Mexican heritage, about women, the lyrics are: Oh the women ‘cross the river carry water from the well at break of day And they talk to one another; God only knows what they might say You might get an education after years of dedicationYou might finally get a glimpse of what is right and what is wrong But the women ‘cross the river; well they knew that all alongOh…
I spent a week in Mexico City and fell in love again with the people, culture, food and art. All of that passion and aliveness was summed up in a song – Viva Mexico! Viva! Viva America! Viva! In La Tacuba, the estudiantinas sang and the diners all responded, and I started crying. I felt so alive and joyful – tears were streaming down into my smile and the singer came over and asked for…