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I spent the better part of today on the sofa with my leg raised above my heart and believe me, it worked, the throbbing eased and my foot felt normal. I had a DVD of a fireplace playing on the television and was reading The Lay of the Land by Richard Ford – who is going to be here for the Tennessee Williams Festival. I fielded phone calls from friends and all of our conversations seemed to revolved around looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. Seems like this is harder than you might imagine. One friend at her 50th managed to hook up with the same man who had deflowered her many many many years ago. How often does that happen? Another who has sworn off men called to say she was lining a few up that she was interested in and how great is that. Another called and said that he has been wistful lately about his ex-wife and wondered if he would ever have desire again.

I question the same thing – desire – it seemed to be such a natural thing barely two years ago – I had desire in spades – for too many men and purposes. Now I don’t even think about it unless it is summoned as a vestigial thought or in conversation. E is trying to convince me that the pendulum had swung so far to the left that it rammed all the way to the right and has gotten stuck there. I dunno. I don’t feel stuck. I just feel different. Like everything that used to motivate me no longer does. And that’s fine. But odd.

We got a table outside at La Vita and I hoisted my foot up. During the course of the evening, we held court amongst our neighbors and friends. At the table next to us was a woman, M, who had married D, and was on her honeymoon in Italy when Katrina hit. Her almost grown daughter S was in Baton Rouge at the time. And the questions turned to what happened to their dog – a neighbor had her and brought her to D.C. for them during the evacuation.

Moosey was sitting at a table down the way with B and K and some Turkish women. He came down and joined us regularly – holding my foot in his lap and rubbing my leg. Then B came over – handsome devil that he is – and told us about his routine of Pilates in the morning and meditation and he also held my leg in his lap and rubbed it. A&R came by on their way into eat. A is framing the elephant painting that G did for me. J walked by with his son M, who looked so tall, it made me think of W and how tall he must be right now – although I just saw him at Lowe’s the other day and didn’t notice him taller than I would have thought – although M looked unusually tall.

Y came over and sat with us for a while – he was dressed up in a gorgeous taupe suit with a nice crisp shirt and was looking very dashing. He has started a business to market all of M’s restaurants. L came by – my massage therapist and M at the table and I proclaimed her talents to be other worldly which caused a buzz of excitement around her.

F came and went from our table busily running the restaurant and being social at the same time – a deft handling I might add – and then B came by with Bayou Girl and sat down to have a cocktail. Turns out he used to wait tables at Houston and knew some of the people I did – he, F and I talked about how we really enjoyed waiting tables because we liked the pace, the people, and atmosphere. He was talking about his efforts with the park across the street and he said that so much good came out of it but there was some negative as well. He said he was telling his oldest son recently that when you put yourself out to the public, you can expect that, because you no longer control people’s perception of you.

It was getting late – B&K had closed up Swirl and come over for dinner with L&N. G was tired and begged off and went home. My foot was throbbing. Moosey was running staff home, one at a time. K arrived with a friend. Another party started up a few tables down from us. And it was time to call it a night. But what a night – what a beautiful night – surrounded by interesting people – in such a fabulous city.

I had brought my disposable CVS video camera and filmed G speaking about her bra, B speaking about his meditation, B speaking about finding Bayou Girl and growing up in the neighborhood and F talking about how great New Orleans is. I’m hoping to get some more footage and then upload it to YouTube.

Swirl was hopping last night and I got a bottle of grenache and sat in the window with my foot up. A – a doctor – said I need to elevate my foot above my heart to heal and to get it to quit throbbing. There was a bevy of women standing around a dog outside – a white dog with big red spots and a happy face. One of the women had found the dog running down Esplanada Avenue – it had a collar but no tags. They had placed an ad in the Times Picayune, in the Gambit and at the SPCA – but no one had claimed the dog. She was such a happy dog and I wanted to take her home but Arlene has entered her geriatric years and really could not handle the likes of a one year old puppy twice her size right now. So I just turned away and wouldn’t look at the dog’s sweet, soft eyes.

There is a lot of music happening around town tonight – and there is always Swirl in midcity – but my foot is throbbing – and I can’t stand and barely can sit without having it up for long – so I think G and I are headed to La Vita for a salad and some wine to sit outside and enjoy this beautiful weather. It’s going to be 80 degrees tomorrow! Spring came and went leaving only pollen behind.

This gorgeous woman was talking about the fact that she is naturally brunette but one time she colored her hair blonde and men just came out of the woodwork. I was telling Maria – my hairdresser – about this and said the woman was much prettier brunette – and she said it’s stupid but true. Gentlemen prefer blondes.

Anyway – Maria is great – if you need a blow out in New Orleans or anything in the beauty department – hair, nails, waxing, tinting – she and her daughter, Karen, both work from A Touch of Beauty off Maple Street.

There has been this trend item flowing through most every magazine or news article I’ve picked up lately. It says you shouldn’t drink any wine or alcohol because it makes you fat. Since I’ve been challenged recently because of my foot and challenged in life because of my body type, I’ve been harping and carping about giving up alcohol in order to get my midriff slimmer. TL lost tons of weight from his Lent abstinence (he’s also lost his junk) and that made G and I think hard about giving up the cocktails for a slimmer version of ourselves. Well, it also led to a lot of body hating. While I admit that my waistline ain’t what it used to be – when L brought over the photograph of us from 1987, I took one look and knew that I am a better looking 47 year old woman than I was a 27 year old woman. The younger me had the slimmer waist and more ease with my weight, but the older me has lost that baby fat once and for all and she has a more relaxed look about her.

G called me after court today and said she was trying to articulate what she felt after being a recluse for the last week trying not to have a cocktail or eat. She’s miserable. And hell I am too just sitting around thinking about what I need to do to make myself perfect. Fuck perfect. I’m curvy. My hair is thick and wavy. But you know what? I’ve got an awesome body – when I was in Pilates this morning and in the teaser position and E came by with the pole and said my form was perfect and I know what it takes to get there – I thought, hell, it doesn’t get any better than this.

I look at all those actresses who have lost so much weight – Christina Ricci – Jennifer Anniston – when Madonna went from voluptuous to thin – and even in photographs they don’t look better. Thin is not in. Junk is in. Give me a tush – one that begs to be stared at – or give me one to stare at – now that is what I’m talking about.

I was speaking to one of my sources today and he said he was on his way down here for Jazz Fest – the second weekend – but he was coming early to help out with Habitat for Humanity. What a great organization – they have done so much for this city – we are forever indebted to the thousands of volunteers – a lot of young people – who have come in and slept in tents and the like to help demo or rebuild houses in this city. A big round of applause.

My loan officer told me today that she almost didn’t come back after the storm – said she couldn’t face it as she lived in Lakeview and the entire area was so devastated. Turns out her house wasn’t. She was close to the lake and high enough up that by some miracle her house was spared and so were a few others on her block, while the rest of the area was close to gone. She said her sister was married and in California and decided to be unmarried and move home to New Orleans after the storm. She left a high profile corporate career to come here and open a day spa because she said everyone here needs healing.

I love these stories!

How is it that this beautiful woman adopts the most beautiful babies? Her new little one, Pax, is a doll! What a great name.

You know what I told B when he came by the other day to help me hang my African wood carving on the porch? He said wow, I can’t believe you got all this to come together. I said, well wow, let me tell you what I learned about myself – a lesson to the wise – I have qualties in me that were brought to the forefront perforce – they are endurance, preseverance, and faith – and I had them in spades the last twenty two months because I couldn’t have done this otherwise.

Today my appraisal came in at $200K over what the first appraiser was willing to value the LaLa at – and I signed my loan documents and set a closing date of April 6th – Good Friday. Again, it was preseverance and not letting other people tell me how the game is going to go, but instead having a vision of what should be. Had I listened to all the naysayers during the construction of this house, it wouldn’t be what it is today. Had I listened to those who said there are no choices, this is what it is, I would have been in a bind. But I listened to the voices in my head – and let me tell you they are freaky sometimes, but most of the time, they are guiding me in the right direction.

At the end of the day, you make your hard decisions alone, and you have faith that everything will turn out the way it is supposed to.