Archive for December, 2006

Bummer

Thursday, December 21st, 2006

Five cosmopolitans can’t erase a bill from the contractor that is 3 times what he said it would be a month ago. No end in sight. Big bummer.

Defenestration is not an option

Thursday, December 21st, 2006

20 months into the remodel and again the new window is leaking and the sheetrock, again, had to be ripped out around the window and again, the glazer had to be called, and again, the painting had to cease, and again the electrician is a no show (2nd day), the carpenters to replace the carpenter on vacay in Michigan are no shows (2nd day), the remeasuring of the cabinet that has to be shored up to accommodate the weight of the slab now put off till the 4th, the painter is surly, the tile setter is grouchy because he has to redo the tile he did with a new adhesive.

A friend IMs cheerfully “so when are you moving in?”

George Will is arrogant

Thursday, December 21st, 2006

Arrogant (Ar”ro*gant) (#), a.
[F. arrogant, L. arrogans, p. pr. of arrogare. See Arrogate.]

1. Making, or having the disposition to make, exorbitant claims of rank or estimation; giving one’s self an undue degree of importance; assuming; haughty; — applied to persons. “Arrogant Winchester, that haughty prelate.” Shak.
2. Containing arrogance; marked with arrogance; proceeding from undue claims or self-importance; — applied to things; as, arrogant pretensions or behavior.

Synonyms — Magisterial; lordly; proud; assuming; overbearing; presumptuous; haughty. See Magisterial.

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You know what? I have spent too much time around arrogant people and today reading in yesterday’s newspaper an article by George Will who condemns blogs as refuse from minds of the plebians just makes me laugh – out loud. It’s the age old elitism argument – if you allow everyone to have a voice then you don’t distinguish genius – which is complete and utter bullshit.

Genius will always stand out to those who recognize genius. Blogs are not crushing the ability for genius to stand out – people are – but who cares? Right now we live in a culture where the majority may want to read Danielle Steel while overlooking Richard Ford’s latest addition to his trilogy. And so? There is art in the park by untrained artists, and so? Religion is for the masses, and so? People want to live in houses that look like iconic houses – read: pitched roof with symetrical windows – and so? Some people want to decorate their interior spaces with images of penguins, and so? I choose to write about my experiences in life to learn more about myself and my environment through that writing, and so?

The real question here is why did George Will get up in the morning and fester about blogs, should he not as a superior thinking human being consider world hunger, the green house effect, poverty in the U.S., domestic violence, or some other higher cause than whining about bloggers being able to publish their petty and trivial and pedestrian lives on the world wide web?

Arrogance is a conceit that covers a multiple of sins – insecurity, fear, intolerance, stiffness. It’s a personality trait I have come to abhor because I find the more the arrogant the less the person.

My nanny, hot Annie

Wednesday, December 20th, 2006

When we were pretty young – like around 5 and 6 – my mother would go out and run errands and leave us in the house by ourselves. Kind of unheard of in these days – much like kids standing up on the front seat while you’re driving – anyway, she had it all under control – she had painted a face on the hot water heater – blue eyes and big rosebud lips with circles of rouge for cheeks – then she wrapped an apron around it and called it Annie – Annie watched us while she was out.

Makes Brittany Spears driving around with her baby in her lap pale in comparison – sort of. Sometimes things are what they are without there ever being a reasonable explanation.

Ease up on the cologne, cowboy

Wednesday, December 20th, 2006

My friend Gomez and I debated the use of cologne a while back and I told him I wasn’t too into it but then again sometimes I liked it – depends – but I usually like men au natural – that man smell is rather intoxicating to me – so one time when I knew Gomez was going out with a hot chippie I text him “ease up on cologne, cowboy” – meanwhile, I just found out this guy I have been trying to get to respond to me about a work thing is a wearer of way too much cologne – what is this? the eighties? do you see me in shoulder pads? what goes on?

Thomas at Lowe’s wants to be an expert

Wednesday, December 20th, 2006

Last night when I went to Lowe’s to look for a JD light bulb for my ceiling fan, this guy, Thomas was helping me. He was trying to talk me into getting a chandelier bulb and I said, it doesn’t say JD on it. I asked him to look up JD on the computer. Another salesperson was on the computer in that department just noodling around – it was obvious – I said tell him to get off so you can look this up. And Thomas started walking to another department, so I walked over to the guy and asked him if he’d mind letting us search for something. Thomas was like – oo wee, you are harsh. So then we couldn’t find it on the computer because Lowe’s doesn’t let the employees search outside the Lowe’s system so I asked him if he had a book of all the bulbs they carry to see if a JD bulb was listed. When we went over to the book a couple of customers were standing around with question marks emblazoned on their faces – one woman tried to get Thomas to go help her get something and I held up my hand and said, mam, he is helping me as you can see. When he is done, he will help you. Thomas shook his head and smiled.

Finally Thomas talked me into a bulb that I just knew wasn’t the right one, but I was going to take it home and see. When I got home, I looked up JD bulb on the internet and found out indeed it wasn’t the right one and so I ordered the bulbs online and I printed out all the information about JD bulbs and went to Lowes today to return those bulbs and give Thomas the information. He wasn’t around so I was getting ready to check out when I heard this “oh no” from someone and turned and there he was. “What now?” he said.

I said I brought you information on what a JD bulb is – you might want to tell your manager to stock these as Modern Fans specifies these particular bulbs and I happen to know that there are several commercial spaces that have Modern Fans in New Orleans. He couldn’t stop laughing. He said “you are something.”

After I checked out, I found him waiting outside for me. He said, “when you get them bulbs, would you bring one by so I can look at it?” I said sure. Thomas wants to be an expert – he just needs tools – like accessing the internet for godsakes at work.

Becoming an expert isn’t as hard as you think

Wednesday, December 20th, 2006

When this house is over with, I think I will know more about house renovation than I ever cared to know. Steve – my contractor – said to me the other day when we were going over something – “when you do your next house, and there will be a next house” – I just looked at him like he was a gone pecan – I want to be buried in the back of the LaLa. Meanwhile, Christian who did my glass tile work and came highly recommended from Stafford Tile where I bought the tiles came by to smooth out the rough edges of where my bare butt is going to be sitting to get in the tub – I told him with the sharp glass edges that were formed, I was envisioning a major ouch getting in and out. I had had Giovanni, Steve’s tile guy, doing some baseboard work and had him add another single line to the strip Christian had put in. When Christian saw Giovanni was using Mastic Glue, he called and told me not to – that his experience had taught him that Mastic isn’t quick drying which is why you use it with ceramic tile but glass tile would keep it wet and eventually it would unstick.

I told this to Steve, who at first laughed because he can’t believe how much Christian charged me to set that tile and so has been anti-Christian from the get go. So he said he was going to consult an expert. I decided to consult the internet and sure enough every site I went to said DO NOT USE MASTIC GLUE WITH GLASS TILE – clear enough to me? So I printed out several pages and brought them to Giovanni and Steve and Steve acquiesced but Giovanni said, “I’ve been using Mastic for years with no worries.”

To which I said, well after doing the research, I have decided to not use Mastic, since the overwhelming gathering of information has told me not to. So now he has to take that strip down and redo it. But for the niche by the toilet that he did we are going to – at Christian’s suggestion – not grout for four weeks to let it dry as much as possible.

I have become an expert on painting, tile setting, composite decking, waterproofing membranes, roofing, and floor refinishing. Now what?

On the 6th day of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me…

Wednesday, December 20th, 2006

Not six geese a-laying that’s for sure – although I saw some geese this morning on the bayou, and a pelican, and an egret, and a pigeon, and a nutria, some dogs and humans. I did think about true love and decided I think friendship is key – who do you want to hang out with? My friend J said this one time when we were having cocktails – she said at the end of the day who do you want to have a glass of wine with.

I can tell you this, if I did have a true love and he gave me six geese a-laying on the 6th day of Hanukkah, he’d be off my true love list lickety split.

People, music, wine instead of Xanax

Tuesday, December 19th, 2006

Today I had an ever loving fit in the driveway after arriving at the LaLa and seeing that my neighbors had belligerently moved the boundary flagpost again – I was cussing up a storm when Brian came out to check on me and I said sorry sorry but my &^%!#@ neighbors and he said I understand, they’re assholes.

I called G – in a hissy fit and said I need you – why are you in New York – I need an attorney – and she called me back and talked me off the ledge. She’s going to write them a letter as my attorney and tell them to stop or else – we’ll take them to court – what goes on? – is it not enough the sacrifices I have made for this house – what goes on?

So I went to see Ellen and I said – I’m done – I’m calling Tommy Lewis and telling him to sell this house for me right now and I’m going to see if he’ll rent me his efficiency apartment because I can’t deal anymore. And she talked me off the ledge – just like G did – and so I was breathing when I got home.

I laid on the couch and just stared at the ceiling and tried to figure out a game plan. Then I remembered that Greg was singing at Swirl tonight and much as I didn’t want to go, I felt I should go to support him. So I gathered up the Bean and told her she was coming with me.

And it turned out to be a good thing – I walked in and Murray was sitting there and I said so glad to see you and grabbed my first glass of wine and we caught up – he had a great day, a victory in a case that was pretty gnarly – a doctor was supposed to be doing a routine rotator cuff surgery and botched it so bad and so today there was a break through in the case. I told him my day. As we talked, my mother called to say her Mercedes stalled and she had to get a ride home from a stranger.

Then Richelle arrived with Hal – she was telling Murray and me about her hellacious day – and then, suddenly, everything stopped – two women in santa hats came from the back wearing sparkly gold tap shoes and swirl skirts and started tap dancing across Swirl – they were announced as the Swirlettes – and they were – oh my – Oh My God – it was incredible. Just lifted us out of our miserable day into a new world.

Then Musa came in and with him was Yashir and we got some delicious blue cheese bread from Le Boulangeri, which Beth sells in the wine shop, and had Tapestry Syrah and suddenly we all fell into conversation – with Musa telling me how he had it made pre-K – he was making money hand over fist and then he got greedy and now he accepts that and is trying to get out of all of it or at least dial it down.

Santa Fe is closing after Christmas after losing hundreds of thousands, but lessons learned.

Anyway, we all commiserated, enjoyed Greg’s velvet intoxicating voice, drank our delicious wine and ate some sushi that we finally went and picked up next door at Asia Pacific and we all decided that life is good, we are blessed and 2007 is going to be rocking!!!

Good fences make good neighbors

Tuesday, December 19th, 2006

My neighbors have lovingly torn up the boundary flagpole and the concrete block I placed to stop them from doing that at least five times now. I called the police but they said you have to file a claim in court. So here’s what I am going to do – nothing – I’m going to build my fence and that is it – I’m not going to let these assholes ruin my life because I already have been through enough with the house and I refuse to let these petty morons ruin my day.