Bummer
Five cosmopolitans can’t erase a bill from the contractor that is 3 times what he said it would be a month ago. No end in sight. Big bummer.
Year: 2006
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Defenestration is not an option
20 months into the remodel and again the new window is leaking and the sheetrock, again, had to be ripped out around the window and again, the glazer had to be called, and again, the painting had to cease, and again the electrician is a no show (2nd day), the carpenters to replace the carpenter on vacay in Michigan are no shows (2nd day), the remeasuring of the cabinet that has to be shored up…
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George Will is arrogant
Arrogant (Ar”ro*gant) (#), a. [F. arrogant, L. arrogans, p. pr. of arrogare. See Arrogate.] 1. Making, or having the disposition to make, exorbitant claims of rank or estimation; giving one’s self an undue degree of importance; assuming; haughty; — applied to persons. “Arrogant Winchester, that haughty prelate.” Shak. 2. Containing arrogance; marked with arrogance; proceeding from undue claims or self-importance; — applied to things; as, arrogant pretensions or behavior. Synonyms — Magisterial; lordly; proud; assuming;…
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My nanny, hot Annie
When we were pretty young – like around 5 and 6 – my mother would go out and run errands and leave us in the house by ourselves. Kind of unheard of in these days – much like kids standing up on the front seat while you’re driving – anyway, she had it all under control – she had painted a face on the hot water heater – blue eyes and big rosebud lips with…
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Ease up on the cologne, cowboy
My friend Gomez and I debated the use of cologne a while back and I told him I wasn’t too into it but then again sometimes I liked it – depends – but I usually like men au natural – that man smell is rather intoxicating to me – so one time when I knew Gomez was going out with a hot chippie I text him “ease up on cologne, cowboy” – meanwhile, I just…
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Thomas at Lowe’s wants to be an expert
Last night when I went to Lowe’s to look for a JD light bulb for my ceiling fan, this guy, Thomas was helping me. He was trying to talk me into getting a chandelier bulb and I said, it doesn’t say JD on it. I asked him to look up JD on the computer. Another salesperson was on the computer in that department just noodling around – it was obvious – I said tell him…
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Becoming an expert isn’t as hard as you think
When this house is over with, I think I will know more about house renovation than I ever cared to know. Steve – my contractor – said to me the other day when we were going over something – “when you do your next house, and there will be a next house” – I just looked at him like he was a gone pecan – I want to be buried in the back of the…
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On the 6th day of Hanukkah, my true love gave to me…
Not six geese a-laying that’s for sure – although I saw some geese this morning on the bayou, and a pelican, and an egret, and a pigeon, and a nutria, some dogs and humans. I did think about true love and decided I think friendship is key – who do you want to hang out with? My friend J said this one time when we were having cocktails – she said at the end of…
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People, music, wine instead of Xanax
Today I had an ever loving fit in the driveway after arriving at the LaLa and seeing that my neighbors had belligerently moved the boundary flagpost again – I was cussing up a storm when Brian came out to check on me and I said sorry sorry but my &^%!#@ neighbors and he said I understand, they’re assholes. I called G – in a hissy fit and said I need you – why are you…
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Good fences make good neighbors
My neighbors have lovingly torn up the boundary flagpole and the concrete block I placed to stop them from doing that at least five times now. I called the police but they said you have to file a claim in court. So here’s what I am going to do – nothing – I’m going to build my fence and that is it – I’m not going to let these assholes ruin my life because I…