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There is a restaurant in Zahara de los Atunes called Restaurante Pradillo but most people refer to it as “The Geishas” because Rodrigo and Oscar make you feel as if you are being pampered in regal style. Estefa is the bartender and she is solely to blame for hooking us on gin tonics. Her cocktails are made with love and with spices and with flare. Her new technique is to pour the tonic slowly through a twisted spoon so as not to upset the bubbles. A tour de force. Meanwhile, the food coming out of the kitchen is divine and the staff – Jesus, Miguel and the rest are gorgeous.

Now Estefa has taught Tin the art of making the perfect gin tonic – god help us all.

I have a friend in Spain who I met the first year we vacationed in Zahara de los Atunes. I looked forward this year to returning and walking on the beach with her to catch up. There are few people you meet at a certain point in your life who you truly feel connected to – as if they were always there just waiting for you to arrive.

We took the ferry to Tangiers together for a day – but that’s another story – we walked on the beach together and bared our souls.

The thing about friendship that is so allusive is you meet a lot of people in your life you like, some you like a lot, and yet it’s rare to meet someone who you feel is an old friend from the first day you meet her.

The Spanish have a saying – te voy a comer de besos – I will eat you with kisses. And the our friends’ kids are just those types of kids – the ones you want to eat with kisses all day long.

Spain adopted a motto for tourism that said simply Spain Is Different and it is. We are now in Zagreb, in Croatia, in Eastern Europe – difference is everywhere, but I digress.

I was with a friend in Spain and we walked into a boutique to look at the new fall line of clothes. The shopkeeper who I knew from before was chatting with us and she asked my Spanish friend, “Do you only have one child” and without blinking my friend said, “I have two sons, but one died with my husband in a car accident.” Pause. We continued looking at the clothes and my friend bought a few pieces.

Later, walking on the beach together, my friend said it had been nine years and this year, on the anniversary of the accident, she hadn’t noticed the date and it went by. This was the first time this had happened. She said afterwards she felt guilty. I said take it as a positive sign rather than not.

And this is something I have noticed with all Spaniards, how their challenges and tragedies are incorporated into the fabric of their lives, unlike in the U.S. where we place our tragedies, our loss, our regrets, outside of our vision of what our life is about – as if they don’t belong to us, as if they don’t have a place in our perfect lives, and there my dear readers is the difference in Spain.

At first I was going to say I’ve gone fishing BUT
Why is it I finally have the wherewithal to travel and be abroad, and I worry about work, home, bills?
Why is it that I finally don’t have to do my hair and I’m upset about it?
Why is it that I’m walking through the door to relaxation and it causes anxiety?

Then I spoke with my life coach last night with the last minutes I had for the U.S. and we worked through a scenario whereby there is a door, and beyond the door is a cool terrace with chaise lounges and a pale blue sky with not a cloud in it and I turn the knob and find a cozy spot and sink in, becoming almost one with that chaise lounge, my face tilted up to the sky-blue sky, and I do not feel the urge to jump up and do laundry, send an email, post, wash the dishes, go to the grocery, straighten shelves, sort and label my photos in iPhoto, or basically anything that is defined “doing” – instead I sit there just “being.”

baby steps, Rachel, baby steps ………………………….

Gone Fishing
Gone fishin’, there’s a sign upon her door
Gone fishin’, she ain’t workin’ anymore
There’s her hoe out in the sun where she left a row half done
She said “hoein’ ain’t no fun”, she ain’t got no ambition
Gone fishin’ by a shady wady pool
I’m wishin’ I could be that kinda fool
I’d say no more work for mine on my door I’d hang a sign
Gone fishin’ Instead of just a wishin’