There is a card in the Tarot deck of a woman blindfolded with two swords – I like this card because it is about self binding. If she used the sword to cut off the blindfold and turned around she would see the stunning blue ocean behind her. So it is with everything that you think you can make happen. Take any number of issues that I am juggling right now – my mom, no…
There are people who believe that private adoption exploits poor women. I beg to differ. It’s the couples trying to adopt who are exploited left and right because they want a baby so bad they will give up the farm. Then there are the attorneys who make their living on this transaction. Honestly, last night we met a woman who was adopted out of the foster care system because her mother was a drug addict,…
Everybody has had an opinion lately – where were these people when my mom needed financial, emotional, physical support? Everybody wants to profit on T and my desire to have a baby – so far $40,000 of money we don’t have. Everybody wants to own a piece of me, have a piece of me, destroy a piece of me. But they can’t. One of the songs I listened to when T and I first fell…
Today was possibly the most gorgeous day we have had all year. The sun was shining – the sky was blue – there were these cloud shaped white clouds in the sky – and birds were singing. If all days were like today, I would find it absolutely impossible to work.
Oh now it’s coming out that Fox New is manipulating the news – give me a break – do you trust Rupert Murdoch to spin the news? Uh, no. The fact that they are trying to resurrect Sarah Palin by claiming she is so popular right now is the biggest load of hogwash I’ve ever seen. Give it a rest – you backed Bush for how long?
I walked Loca around the Big Lake this morning, reveling in the beautiful day outside, and the fact that despite all of the heaviness of late, that things are going to be all right. This is a difficult time because so many huge things hang in the balance. My uncle wrote me that having a baby was going to be life defining. Losing my mother is also as weighty. All around us there is beauty…
Last night I went to a birthday dinner with a bunch of friends and looked around the table at some point and felt that it was good to know that I have yet another safety net out there in the world.
I was speaking to Flower today and I told her flat out that I just don’t know anything. I’m not going to say I want this to happen or that if that happens it would be bad, or that having, losing, waiting, getting – that any of it even makes any sense to me anymore. I’m throwing myself on the mercy of the cosmos. I’ve been up and down like on a pogo stick all…
Seemingly unrelated events: My mom said to look for dogs as a sign that she is with me. We have been speaking to the birthmother about our concern for her postpartum and that she needs support to get through the early months after giving birth. Today the birthmother called that she had found two Beagle puppies on the side of the road, and she was excited because they will “give me something to hold while…
The day that I knew that Arlene would have to be put down, I did what I have always done since I was a child – I took care of business. I called the vet and scheduled it. I made a note in my calendar to give Arlene delicious catfood and spend quality time with her. And then when I thought I had all the details covered, I came back upstairs to work. In the…