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I have one week before I leave for Budapest then Croatia – wow – I can’t imagine swimming in the Adriatic every day instead of sitting at my desk with IM, Skype, cell, landline, computer, email, and calendar and notebook all at my fingertips – ready, aim, fire… – I’m going to enter eel time in a big way. I was speaking to a colleague about how their sabbatical went and they said they were gone for six weeks and when they were coming back through the airport on their way home the headlines read “Ford’s CEO says it is worse than imagined” – I’m leaving at a time when the market is going to hell in a handbasket, when media is trying to re-imagine itself, when I’m trying to be relevant in difficult time – I’m sure all of this will melt away with the first dip into the sea. 

I would never watch television again. The remote control isn’t working here at my friend’s or at my house and you know what – that is a blessing. I’m watching the J-man play army on the coffee table, another is in a lap with a bottle, and still another is napping. The house is much more centered and aligned without the blaring Toons and Nick on sending noise waves and amping up children’s restless hormones. KILL YOUR TELEVISION!!!!!

The first sounds of peace came with hearing a 4 year old use his own voice, his own mind, to invent scenarios and action. Even the dog seems to be more content in world of our own sounds and sights. 

Out of context from my world, I entered the world of a friend – bilaterally, multidimensionally, and all around topsy turvy – my friend, I have a new appreciation for what she does on a daily basis. Three children, husband, dog, tough job – wow!

I think of my sweetheart at home waiting for me – think of our routine that we fell so instantly into – dogs, cat, and us – how fluidly we move through our routine – add three rug rats and insta presto CHAOS! There is no keeping fingers clean, counter tops cleaned, books in their place. Everything is subject to rearranging, to balancing, to extra strength vigilance.

Home awaits – a porch with a cold Tecate and a lime, a beautiful lover next to me in a rocking chair, a dog who stays on the porch, another who stares into the corner, and a cat who found a chair to lounge on – we can add to this picture, but for now, I have a vision for a life well lived, loved and joy growing exponentially in our vista. 

New York was a tricky trip – nothing went according to plan and the only thing redeemable was catching up with a few people that made it worthwhile. Coming home was less tricky – waiting for me were two dogs, one cat, and a loving T. Honestly, sometimes home = a beer on the front porch chit chatting, watching animals play and negotiate space from the couch – in other words: joie de vivre right here at the LaLa.

A friend of mine likes to tell the story about her ring – her favorite, one of a kind ring that she always wears. She was standing in the ocean with a friend and her ring slipped off her finger and they both frantically searched for the ring in the sand with their toes and dove down to feel around in the sand – then my friend came up for air and realized it was gone for good and said, okay, bye ring.

One minute after she let go, her friend found it in the sand with her toe. And she believes now this was the power of letting go.

Recently, a friend asked me how to find love and I said you have to let go. On Mardi Gras day we all stood on the bayou and let go of our past desires and opened ourselves to the universe for it to provide and sure enough, it did.

Back a year ago, I was trying to learn how to fire dance and my friend who is a marvelous fire dancer gave me poi to practice with – but I could never master the moves. Then I thought I would spend my sabbatical traveling through India but first stopping at a surf camp to learn how to surf in Costa Rica. Well my story went to the left and took a different route and I’m headed to the Adriatic instead.

Yesterday, I met up with my friend from San Francisco at The Modern – the bar at the MOMA – for a glass of champagne and a super quick catch up and she told me that she has been hulahooping like crazy and doesn’t travel without one. I’m in!

A friend of mine who blogs accepts advertising on his blog. Advertising is my passion – I have followed it for almost a decade. But on my blog – I don’t think so. The other day a PR person sent me a note to look at this book written about New Orleans because she wanted me to write about it in my blog = big yuck. If I endorse – it is because I came to it on my own / if I dislike, same thing.

A few years ago a lover asked me to lie on my blog – I didn’t do it for him and he had a pretty compelling reason. Why would I do it now?

I had this sense today walking towards a conference from my midtown hotel over to 50th and 8th of the vibrancy of New York – there was this exhilaration that comes with the energy here with people of all cultures, food smells mingling in the air, bright lights in the middle of the bright sunlight – but by the time I had hustled to the conference, run from session to session, interview to interview, phone call to blackberry and was hustling to the next place my heart felt like it was about to stop in my chest and I had to slow down – in front of me were kids getting out of school and they were shrill and playful like animals, and a guy walked by and his shoulder almost knocked me over because he was rushing down the sidewalk, and I had to take a deep breath but the food cart had that cooking fuel going that makes me nauseous and suddenly I was like WAAAAAHHHHH get me back to my blue bayou where the fish are jumping and the cotton sheets are mine!

Someone said to me tonight that they would rather be sitting on the couch with their wife most any night – and I agree!!!

Someone asked T who is the wife and who is the husband in our relationship. The best part about being in a Lesbian relationship is being able to break free of gender constraints. I am naturally a boy albeit I look very woman-like. As a young girl, I aligned with my brothers and my father more than my mother and sister. That in no way signifies that I wasn’t attracted to men – I was and still am – but it means that with a man I was constantly treading and encroaching on their territory instead of staying in my woman box (no pun intended). In a same sex partnership, you get to play around with gender roles, and the permutations are endless. I love that.