Isn’t most of life about lowering your expectations for what you think you want then finding all this incredible wonderous beyond your wildest dreams stuff that you didn’t ask for? Or is that just my life?
I had a friend in California who loved to make fun of a friend’s partner – who was a mimbo. The favorite tag was that he had called them to go out and be spontaneous and the mimbo said, “Well, I would be spontaneous if you gave me some advance notice.” He was dead serious.
Tonight I was at Pilates and I was not enjoying it – it was the kick ass, it’s hot as hell outside, why am I doing this, I can see the sun poisoning from my 40 mile bike ride yesterday, type class and then I looked over and saw that a friend of mine was in the class. Afterwards we decided to go have a cocktail and then maybe sushi and within an hour after this pain and misery, we were sitting at a bar, having a blast.
Now that is spontaneity. And that is fun.
Why is it that I can call my vet to talk about my dog’s problems and he calls me back, but my own doctor is impossible to speak with – they take messages, the nurse calls me back instead. My doctor has no voicemail. My doctor has no email.
Should I start speaking to my vet about my issues?
I woke up at 5:30 AM and by 5:45 AM I was standing on my screen porch in utter amazement that it was as hot as it is here today. By 6:10, I was walking around the bayou and by 7, I was in City Park drenched in sweat. I saw L, who told me the heat index is 104 – and it wasn’t 7:30 yet.
I wish it would rain.
I spent the weekend working on the tattoo book, hanging out with my dogs, and avoiding society in general in favor of getting to know me again. Weekends like this, always coming off of a “running with the bulls” of sorts, are not easy to stay the course on because the temptations are many and the invitations are even more – but in the end, the spirit requires renewal and you can’t get that from hitting the bricks hard. It comes from probing inside all of those spots that the bricks obscure and sorting things out for yourself.
What are my fears? Well I say my fears are I want to do good in my job, good in my relationships, and good in life in general – the fears are that I am doing something that stands in the way of accomplishing any of these.
I have habits – I walk away from things that don’t serve me (sometimes before I have given them a chance), I have a myopic type of focus when it comes to my desires, I have mental energy that sometimes winds me tighter than a top, and I also have dumb energy that needs to be expended so I move until I drop.
What are my goals? I want to be the best media analyst in the world without getting bogged down in the minutia that keeps most Wall Street analysts from free association and therefore the a ha moments that I have had. I want to be a good friend, someone who is there for you and fun to be with, but I have trust issues that sometimes make it difficult for me. I want to build a financial security net unlike what my parents did – which was not do anything – so that I feel like I can enter my “golden” years without the apprehension that plagues my mother.
What are my desires? I want to date my equal and perhaps, fall in love again. I want to cultivate stillness, so that I can enjoy the LaLa, New Orleans, my dogs, and my life to the fullest.
Please join us in getting Bush to realize that he is a moron and that we need our levees to work.
We are on day three of a horrific heat wave that has the heat index here in the hundreds and the temps bordering a hundred. It is not fit for man or beast, not to mention women and dogs. It’s hard to get motivated to do anything, but this morning I took the dogs for their walk around the bayou, then dropped off dog #1 and took dog #2 for a more thorough walk and lesson through City Park, and then it was time for my bike ride since I am going to miss two Sundays and the MS 150 mile bike ride is nearing. I was out there riding and thought I was just going to pass out but thankfully I had PowerAde with me. That has been the ticket to surviving the heat – electrolites – I thought it was all a bunch of hooey but it’s not.
In the meantime, I am going to go do a rain dance and hope that we can get a break.
What happens if you look into someone’s eyes and feel as if you don’t want to even blink for fear you’ll miss a moment?
They say babies hold their gaze so long – longer than adults – and that is what makes looking at them so mesmerizing.
I like mesmerizing. Mesmerized is better than probably any other feeling to have when looking into someone’s eyes.
When was the last time you had mesmerizing eye to eye contact with someone? What happened next?
And a voice from the past whispers, “Look at me, Rachel. I want you to keep your eyes open and look at me.”
I want to be mesmerized.
If one were to go about trying to get rid of the root of the problem – drugs – how would you go about doing it? There would have to be special task forces involved in curtailing the drugs from coming into the city. Then there would have to be vigilant drug enforcement in the most susceptible areas. Are drugs the problem, or a symptom? Is it poverty and lack of education that are the problems?
Why is it that in a nation that has poverty, poor education, inaccessible health care – we are at war with Iraq?
Why is New Orleans beleaguered by the double whammy of a clueless governor and a fool for a mayor?
Why is our nation unduly burdened by an emperor who has no clothes?
Why is there a website to see if Keanu Reeves is gay?
He’s a fool. We’re okay with the crime here in New Orleans because it continues to further the brand? What goes on? Is this guy a gone pecan?
Answer: Yes.