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Since this funk seems to want to settle in around me, I’m taking all measures to knock it back down. The foot doctor told me today that I need to have my foot operated on – I told him, well, it will have to wait because I have three races coming up and I’m going to run them. So after a half marathon in February, I will get the operation.

Then the LaLa – nobody has been there except Christian for the past two days. My contractor has three clients getting in their houses this week so everybody has been pulled into action there to make that happen. Meanwhile K called and said he is now not coming till Oct 9th instead of the 1st. A new carpenter recommended by C came by to see the house but he is tied up on another job and will call with his schedule in the next day or two.

Walking Arlene, I ran into H, and R, and then later my neighbors, the Ws. R is moving into his new house this weekend. Mr W said they will be in by Thanksgiving and when he described where they are, I said to myself – good grief, if they are already at the stage they are, I’m not getting in till after the first of the year. Depressing.

All day was fielding clients about Yahoo – and then two reports on radio and outdoor advertising that were on the call today. After a while I just wanted to beat my head against the wall.

But instead – I got my bike and went for a ride through City Park – I rode all up in there and the sky began to turn pink, and the gloaming seemed to calm things down, and a lot of people were out, walking, running, on bikes and along the bayou there were dog walkers of every ilk – I passed the LaLa on the way back and wanted to just sit on my porch and hang, but there is a trash heap right there and so I just rode back to the Can.

L, man of mystery, is on his way to Houston to give blood for his operation. He was almost to Lafayette and was thinking about food and I remembered that we always stopped in Beaux Bridge at Mulatte’s and got fried shrimp poboys – they are delicious – it’s all in the peanut oil and batter – they have it down to a science.

Hmmm, instead of fried shrimp, I ate steamed broccoli and then half a mango and now I am taking my detox tea and walking over to H&T’s for a little visit before bedtime.

Last night, we were talking about this weird stage some of us are entering as women – for years there has been this monthly cycle that begins at ovulation, which is the peak, then begins this steady drop off – imagine a roller coaster at the top coming down, and on the way down there is a sharp point where you are so horny you can’t uncross your legs, then you are so hungry you can’t get enough food in your mouth, then there is incredible pain and emotional unrest, then POP significant relief when suddenly this rush of hormones wash through your body as your period actually starts, and then there is elation, a sort of walking on air feeling, and then the roller coaster car starts chugging up hill slowly climbing back to the peak. It’s the rhythm of your life from about 12 years of age till 40 something, and then you hit mid 40s and it all starts contracting or expanding or disappearing or reappearing too soon, and you enter this weird perguatory-like vortex where you can suddenly find yourself horny, cranky, hungry all in the same hour, and the next day in incredible pain, hot flashing, and elated within moments of each other and some days you forget your body exists. The doctors say you might do this for ten years before it all comes to a screeching halt or not, it could be a slow braking for several years, no one really knows. Whatever it is, you suddenly don’t have a cycle anymore that you can count on, and every day has to be accepted as a surprise attack by hormones, lack of hormones, or sometimes no response at all.

This is the body I am talking about – imagine what the mind is like at this point in your life.

N called early and woke me up to walk the dogs – I put a long sleeved shirt on – incredible! I told her my running buddy might be going away – she knows what that’s like having lost T pre-Katrina to Korea. Meanwhile I told her about the elaborate dream I had last night – having this run of bizarre winding dreams – my younger brother and sister and I were going to take away all my parent’s furniture but then I couldn’t do it because I thought how sad they would be without the furniture when they got home – then I was in this Smoky and the Bandit like convoy and had my old white MG and W was with me but when he got out of the car he put his head under a waterfall and doused himself with water and I screamed WM get in this car right now – and then went inside and was looking out the window up the hill at a window where S was getting ready to get in his car and join the convoy but N was in the room but wouldn’t meet my eyes and was sending text messages and told those of us standing in the room he was saying “I love you” to his wife.

G said “you have a personality that is larger than life” even if you are matte finished – this was not my dream.

Three ducks swam around the middle of the bayou – peacefully – paddling very softly so as not to create any movement in the water – this I observed this morning.

Met G at Swirl tonight after seeing E – E wants to see me next week – obviously back to the two step – one step forward, three back, hence two steps – this time I told her the funk ain’t so funky – it’s almost palatable.

G has been in NY with her product that is moving in a rapid direction forward and she might have to go live in NY for six months or more to manage the process – to say that this hit me like a ton of bricks would be an understatement even though I support the entire concept and her success with it.

The air is almost chilly tonight which has the dual effect of making me nostalgic and fills me with an incredible longing – gee, it would be so nice to know what for – just this empty longing is the equivalent of sex with a blow up doll.

Speaking of sex, started reading Delta of Venus by Anais Nin – S recommended it – said it was the most erotic book – and (ahem) it is. Certainly overshadows anything Suzy Bright came up with.

When I became an editor a while back, I read somewhere that a manager’s job is to provide hope. I told that to J my boss and he scoffed at the notion. But really, now that I have been in charge of two groups simultaneously at my company for several years, I’m convinced more than ever, the job is about managing hope – mine and theirs.

Today I passed a sign – one of those ubiquitous grass signs that have appeared post-Katrina – it said “The Quest for Deeper Knowledge begins September 24 at 10AM” in small print was “Why am I here?”

I had disturbing dreams last night that left me feeling almost violated in spirit this morning.

Our neighborhood moderator posted a missive that said “Bless You Boys” today because the Saints won last night in the dome. You know what? I went trying not to pin any expectations on the Saints – hating the Falcons – wanting the Saints to win for so many reasons – but not thinking they would pull it off – oh yee of little faith. What can I say? I’m stunned and elated.

The crowd was overwhelming at times around the dome – trying to get up and down the ramp was like swimming through jello. Caught the Goo Goo Dolls who were playing right outside and then walked over to Herbsaint – – had some yummy appetizers – shrimp with grit cakes with a spicy cream sauce that was not too heavy, gumbo that was rich and dark and earthy, and a brisket with potato cake that was also tasty – not to mention the Kurrant Cosmopolitans – yum. Definitely warrants going back.

On our way to our seats, I stopped in the bathroom and while I was putting on my lipstick, a woman, near tears and looking pale, said, “I don’t know how I feel right now. Being here. Being in New Orleans. I’m just not sure.” I looked at her and said, “feel good” – and gave her a big hug.

We had a bird’s eye view of the game and the crowd was in rare form, excited, nervous, and in general, full of spunk and Who Dat? – BJ and P both sent me text messages saying “incredible” and “who dat?” – oh yes, bless you boys, it was certainly worth all the hoopla.

My reporter and friend F sends me a missive from NY this morning:

this was on a press release I got from someone in NO today.. is this a new NO mantra?

BELIEVE OR LEAVE!

Make the commitment; it’s a choice.

They guy who is going to come sandblast my windows so that they are frosted in the bathroom is named Brett Favre – I said like the quarterback? and he said yeah, we’re related. I should hope so.

My neighbors on the south side of the LaLa have filed a complaint with the city inspectors saying that my addition’s windows don’t have fire rated glass. They do. But since we bought the house this family has been so unfriendly and belligerent that they take a little of the joy out of living sometimes. Or maybe not. Steve was such a diplomat, bringing them wine, telling the guy, S, that he would send him email updates on what the house was doing that week, and then you know, Steve left. And now the M’s have Rachel to deal with – and Rachel’s not a diplomat, nor will she bring them wine – but she will drink plenty of it and play her music loud – did I tell you that I have speakers on the front AND back porch and that I asked the stereo guy to give me an amp that cranks? Yeah well, here’s the deal – you can let the petty people with no lives get you down – you can let them try to ruin your day – but then again, you can proactively make their lives miserable and I kind of like that as a course of action instead.

Fall is in the air and riding my bike to Pilates early this morning I marvelled over how a ten degree drop in the temperature can give an entire city a lilt and spring to their steps – and tonight, the Saints come marching in, yes, it’s all good.