I was talking to Gomez about how it all comes back to boys and why is that? He said maybe it is just what it is. Last night, when D was asking me questions about myself – about what I believed, about philosophy, about happiness, and about my preference (younger or older men?) – I ended a few of my responses with it just is what it is – inevitably he’d respond emphatically – that’s not an answer.
D’s fascination with philosophy was interesting for a boy who just turned legal only last week – (no fake ID for me Gomez) – he told me Nietzsche believed woman are interested in one thing and one thing alone – love. And he asked me to refute that – and I said well, hmm, perhaps Nietzsche was onto something there.
I never said it very much, but I decided that one of my New Year’s resolutions is to stop saying, “It is what it is.” Because in matters such as the one in question here, it is never, ever just “what it is.” The phrase is a facile attempt to avoid over-intellectualizing and really never obtains for any intricate issue, which requires ongoing inquiry.
good grief – you are taxing my brain here – when you know the real truth is this – we ebb and flow through a viscous substance that makes it hard to discern – what does it mean to be viscerally attracted to someone who pays you no mind, or to be chemically attracted like bombs going off to someone you don’t think you should be with, or to entertain fantasies of men who have not even announced themselves? I say back – it is what it is – can’t define – can’t understand – don’t know why some are a mystery with a spike and some are a mystery with a foregone conclusion.
That’s what I’m talkin about.
Acutally I like the phrase. I was just having some pompous fun with the problematic aspect of absolute truth. When we can’t define, can’t discern, can’t understand but are furiously striving to (instead of just saying “it is what it is”), then we further the process of BECOMING ourselves; this “state” of becoming is the opposite of “it is what it is,” an attitude which essentializes behavior and experience and can, of course, stifle growth.
Pompous? Perhaps. Absolutely True? Absolutely not.
“The only absolute truth is that truth is rarely pure and never simple.”–Oscar Wilde
This is why I can’t sleep at night.