DIY to the grave

I long for the decadence of being in my own house, one that I have created through purpose and intent, but alas that day is off in the distance. Dave Trahan, my contractor, told me to go look at a house he is doing on Laurel and State – it is (will be) beautiful – after seeing it (I went to inspect the concrete board because the metal siding for the addition is simply ridiculous – $25,000 after the initial bid was $12,000) I knew the truth – Trahan & Associates do fabulous work – quality. But I can tell you what I surmised as I walked through the painted rooms – the LaLa will not be finished until 2007.

The counter tops will take 5 months once ordered, they can’t be ordered until the cabinets are set, the cabinets can’t be set until the interior is painted, the interior can’t be painted until the sheetrockers float the walls, shall I continue? The new windows that replace the three large windows have a six week lead time once ordered – that is for windows without glass – I don’t know what the lead time is once the windows are set and we order the glass – possibly another two to three weeks. So we’ll get half the siding up on the walls without windows, a roof on, and on the side where the windows go have to come back and do more siding later. Are you starting to get my drift? There are still miles to go.

So I had a talk with K today – this one about business – I had a personal one with him while driving back from Atlanta when I told him my heart is still healing and I’m not up for dinner or coffee or dating – I didn’t tell him I’m not sure I’ll ever be up for dating – I just never dated and I don’t think I want to start now. Maybe I’m out of touch but I’m all about attraction forcing the hand rather than the hand forcing the attraction. Now about the house – I told him I can’t handle a full-time job and management of the LaLa – I can’t be called into impromptu meetings on a daily basis about whether I want to use concrete board or green board or 2×4 versus some other size wood – because I don’t have the expertise to answer these questions. I will and can respond to questions of aesthetics or cost evaluations – but I can’t make decisions on areas I have no expertise in. For these questions, he needs to call Dave or Steve – my contractors.

G called last night after I begged off and left her to her date and came home to my book. I had seen H&T outside and they were picking up soup then coming home and suddenly that sounded like a great idea. When G called, T had left and she was going on about how sweet he is – brought her flowers (albeit carnations) – and how thoughtful (many cited examples of thoughtfulness) as she studied the baby’s breath in the carnations, she spoke in a stream of consciousness (wine induced) about what a nice guy he is-as if trying to convince herself that these qualities could supersede all the others and win the day. Good luck, I thought. What do women want – how the hell would I know? Or any woman I know, know. But I’ll venture we know it when we smell it – no, wait that’s me, I’m the one who has to like the smell, well S said she cares about smell too, but I digress, we do know it, when whatever it is is there in the other, then we can name it and say, ah that’s what I want. But it’s all so individual and so ephemeral.

Now back to construction – I’m in the final throes of this Brinkley book and can’t help thinking that so many people out there fared so much worse than me that I need to quit my grousing about losing love and racking up house debt – but today at the dentist – my hygenist has a unique perspective – she asked the typical “how’d you fare?” I told her I have survivor’s guilt because I really didn’t have damage but I feel so damaged – she lives in Metairie and she said all she wants is to redo her kitchen, but she didn’t get any damage, the two big trees – an oak on one side and a magnolia on the other both dropped limbs very carefully in the interstitial space between her and her neighbors’ houses. “All those people who lost everything…they’re getting new appliances and new carpet and everything and I’m sitting here looking at all my old stuff every single day.” Certainly a different perspective – goes to show you if you want something to complain about you can find it anywhere, anytime. But life is too short to focus on what is not working – I’d rather rejoice in all the pleasures of what is and will be.

I went to a neighborhood meeting tonight and there was a record turn out according to the moderator. That’s good, people are interested in their community. You know what this is – this is the DIY era. New Orleans is asking everyone to DIY (do it yourself) and fix their houses, fix their psyches, fix their neighborhoods, their public places all themselves – all by themselves. My company is in DIY mode. We are not going to sell to a bigger fish – instead we are going to DIY. And that means at work, at play, at home, no one is picking up after you and no one is planning for you, so it’s all about you 24/7 and that means get off your ass and get it done or shut the hell up. Welcome to DIY soul repair, heart repair, home repair, environment repair, career repair.

I am the mother ship of DIY.

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