I think I’ll let the mystery be

A 14-year-old and I were talking about boys and it was an interesting conversation. She was explaining to me that boys are weird. And of course, I gave that knowing nod in allegiance with our girl-ness. But then I offered her another explanation and that is think about the boy/girl dynamic from their point of view.

I had thought about this earlier when Tin had been watching Toy Story for the first time and Woody calls a meeting at the beginning of the movie and Bo Peep sidles up to him and says, “Hey, I can get someone to watch my flock later if you’re free,” causing Woody to blush and become completely discombobulated.

I thought ha, does it take a woman to be brazen to get a man to ask her out or what?

So this is where my young friend finds herself – asking this same question and the answer I gave her was imagine how hard it must be to be a guy and protocol says you should be the one to ask a girl out and how many rejections can one guy take in his lifetime? I certainly, as brazen as I am, would not venture to put myself out on a limb to be rejected even if I had never been so before but only feared I might be so.

It takes cojones made of kryptonite to rally to this cause. My young friend was receptive but still not convinced that boys have it harder than girls until another friend in his late twenties came over and joined our conversation. He said, “Who wants to be rejected? There are so many women who are really nasty as if not only do they want to reject you hands down, but they want you to know that you are completely worthless as well.”

So today I am grateful for all the men who have dared to greet me. It must be no easy task because as one long time source of mine told me, “Rachel, gal, you are tough,” (read: as in what man would ever go out with you). Well he was wrong then and he’s wrong now, he only knew me in business where I can be tough, but I’m actually mush – complete mushy mush – and not tough at all in my personal life. But I guess I have a demeanor that makes me appear to be capable of ball-breaking feats.

My young friend left feeling as if perhaps this boy/girl thing is a universal issue – and maybe not one that is only “her” dilemma. My 20-year-old friend left still puzzling over anything women-related from the get go. And I am left thinking, ah hell, I’ll just let the mystery be.

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