Cling to me
My computer died this weekend and the road to recovery has been long. A third party adapter ordered through Amazon that failed. A trip to Apple after many phone calls to the tech support yielded an official Apple adapter. Then I got home and the computer failed again. Then a trip back today to understand that my computer purchased in December 2004 (really?) with its new hard drive that was installed in June 2007 is reaching either the end or the near end. With much ado, I purchased a 15″ Power Mac along with an upgrade to the Airport Extreme and Airport Express as well as had the geniuses at the Lakeside Apple Store transfer my data overnight tonight. This wasn’t what I wanted for Hanukkah, I can assure you.
But to be without a computer for the last five days has been the most excruciating part of it. Maybe if I wasn’t trying to work, I wouldn’t feel so adrift, but trying to do everything off of a Blackberry is just not doable.
At the same time, my heart went on the blink a few weeks ago and the tachycardia has become more pronounced in recent weeks – is it menopuase? is it anxiety? is it a heart attack? Today I went to the cardiologist after feeling like I was closer to fixing one computer, now to get this ticker assessed. The prognosis is they suspect I have arrhythmia and they might be able to correct it, but I have to wear a monitor for 30 days as well as give them copious amounts of my blood and have a heart catscan. The last time I did this was in 2007 when I was having the same issues – were there not heart disease on both side of my family, I would probably not feel so alarmed. But my brother told me to get my ass to the doctor and tell them our history. Dad dead at 62 from heart attack, two brothers with heart attacks and stents. Mother’s side of the family have faulty valves.
So it seems like the nerve center of both my external and my internal world has been on the blink, which has given me pause. But right now I’m sitting here having stolen T’s computer out of her office while she teaches and T2 is still napping, and I’m having a moment on the screen porch where the twilight is approaching, there are a few purple blooms clinging to the vitex tree, the crepes have started to turn golden and red, and I would just like to have a moment here. A moment to reflect on what really matters.
October 29th, 2010 at 4:31 pm
Boy, stress is really taking a tole on you, Rachel. I’m glad you listened to your brother. At least after the 30-day thing, you should have a better picture of how your heart is doing. To be forewarned is to be forearmed as they say. Welcome to the 50’s!
October 29th, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Groovy – now it just gets better in the 60s right?