Just had a family outing that was enough to send me to antidepressants. One sibling in town with spouse and well, let’s just say there are issues. Next my mom has been in a downward spiral since the blood pressure meds were changed, then she had the flu, and then got depressed from being so lethargic during the holidays and her birthday, she was prescribed Zoloft because even though as she said, she “tried to brave it”, she couldn’t. The Zoloft sent her into internal and external shakes while meanwhile, she was working her full-time job. So today, my brother in law took her to the doctor and he said to get off the Zoloft immediately.
Between my sister’s RSDS, her husband’s second back operation (not to mention his encyclopedic memory of all things disease and drug), and my mother trying to contend with physiological and psychological setbacks – that would have been enough – but then an old friend of the family who is a psychiatrist and my mother’s boss stopped in as well – before you know it everyone was hanging out eating the Chinese food my mother’s landlord Lee sent over – she also owns a Chinese restaurant – all five had cigarettes dangling from their mouths choking up the living room till my eyes were burning – in the midst of all this an SOS phone call from a girlfriend with two problems, one about a man, and one about a job opportunity.
I called G on the way home and told her I almost high dived off the balcony into the bricks because what lingers is this feeling of quiet desperation that seemed to permeate the air there. It’s downright frightening.