Be 4 Real
At some point after midnight on NYE I found myself in the bathroom with another girl who was having a moment – a moment of insecurity which was leading to tears – of course, I started crying too because that is what I do – you puke, I puke, you laugh, I laugh, you cry, I’m balling my eyes out – it’s like a gag reflex of emotions – she was crying because she can’t seem to sort out her feelings now from past hurts, I was crying because she is a beautiful woman, smart, interesting, and it bothered me that she would have any reason to be holed up in a bathroom crying on NYE.
Later that evening, I was speaking to a friend of her date’s – a really great guy who I just took a liking to instantly – he said that as he moved in and around the party, he found two “real” women there – the girl I was in the bathroom with earlier and me.
Be 4 Real – is a bar on Orleans Avenue across from the projects. I love that name. Being 4 real means holding in balance complex emotions – wanting someone who perhaps desires someone else or at least behaves as if he does all while not losing your own sense of worth and self-esteem. It’s a delicate balance that I feel I have mastered, but my new friend, I fear needs mentoring to get there.