Why I keep my job
Thursday was almost as good as Wednesday in the sense that it was a pleasant day and then it seem to segue into a good denouement but of course, naturally, and wouldn’t you believe it, life got in the way. S missed his flight and had to reroute and spend $700 to change to another flight, work was nutty, and maybe my part is a little hot, hard to tell because if you see it at the beginning in the sunlight you could easily say that but then it would slowly fade and you wouldn’t notice. But most of all there is just the weather that has changed here and helped the mood. W came home from school saying he had another good day. Won’rful Wednesday and Terrific Thursday – he is finding happiness here which is such a small miracle that it is deserves to be recognized.
But when I was smoking up the house it was hard to be pleasant when S called to say all that – I thought I was and was just buying time past the fanning the smoke out of the house, getting the steaks done, making sure the butter for the green beans wasn’t burning and overall just trying to stay positive but from what I heard I was “mean” – “like when you say I am being a dick, that’s how you were on the phone” – so you take a deep breath.
L called today to say he again feels he should just tell K that she should make her bed with T and be done with it and that he will come visit and la di da. Sometimes when she calls he will say “oh honey, that gives me partial wood” and today when she asked if he loves her truly he said, I love you partially, and that is because he feels like he can’t commit to her when T is in the picture and also because he doesn’t have to commit to anyone he has known two months and had to evacuate his home during and I agree with that – I told him my new mantra is Carpe Diem – in a big way – just now, right now, this is good, this is the right spot, this is what I’m talking about, not tomorrow, not next week, not next year.
I’m leaving Arlington tomorrow and I’m going to try to make sure every minute spent in a plane, cab, hotel is enjoyable. My immediate goals have shrunk to the hedonistic.
Would you go to Krakow – yes, of course I would – it’s going to be freezing there is all I can think of – then again, what do I know about freezing having spent the last 100+ days in the air conditioning.