L called today about a friend of ours who is making what appears to be a wrong headed decision – getting married when she has DOUBTS – did I capitalize that? – I meant to, she has doubts, not the usual ones, the BIG ones. What goes on? I told him that in 1989 when he knew I was getting married to my second husband and making a BIG mistake, could anyone have told me differently? Well, now that I think of it, I think they did, but I wasn’t listening – my brother basically told me I was stupid. I think he used those exact words. You’re stupid. He doesn’t mince words.
Meanwhile, my mom called today because she doesn’t have enough to be concerned about between her 150 patients that are wandering the halls aimlessly looking for their sanity and her own failing health – her pet project for the past three years has been my sister. Well pet project sounds like a euphemism, and I don’t mean to dial it down, especially here in my very own blog, so I’m talking real drama and yes, partly deserved but partly the alchemy of two drama queens with a real bad problem.
My sister, if you remember, had a tragedy happen. She went to a dentist for a crown and instead came out with RSDS, which means he hit a nerve in her face that almost paralyzed her and now she is being told she must live with chronic pain the rest of her life. The remedy or bandaid has been pain pills to help her make it through the day. Bad news all the way around. But looky here, the country is over run with these places called Pain Clinics that dole out medicine like it is going out of style and the medical profession views pain as something to be eradicated – has anyone ever studied eastern philosophy around these parts? Numbing the pain, numbs life.
But not the drama – no the drama soars to greater heights with each passing day. My mother is so disturbed by my sister’s pain and abandonment of life that her life is a shadow of its former self when she says she used to be happy. I laughed – “You used to be happy? When?” – Best part of my mom – she didn’t laugh, she giggled. She said she is blessed because of her wonderful children. Then I cracked up.
I digress though, how do we get off a freight train when we are on it? How to derail at the last minute? I knew when I was marrying Gayne that I was making a big mistake. I got on a plane to Spain and sat next to a guy name Blaine and had just married Gayne and the rhyming – the aaaa almost killed me when I put it all together – and I knew then looking into the 30,000 foot white puffy clouds that I was stupid, plain stupid, just like my brother said.