I had to put on some Bob Marley and sing don’t worry, because every little thing is gonna to be all right. Life is full of things we can’t control but every day there is something to be thankful for and today I am thankful for it all. The nurse assistant at the hospital who is always kidding with mom overheard me talking to her about the adoption and said, “You’re kidding me! We all thought she was crazy talking about the baby and how she was going to put it right there beside her.”
GOD IT BREAKS MY HEART!
I want our baby, I want to introduce our baby to my mother, I want my mother not to be dying, I want everything to be all right – but life is throwing curve balls left and right and meanwhile, just trying to negotiate a single day feels like swimming through jello – green jello.
Most of all I want my mother to find peace and if there is life after death, I want my Grandpa Ellis and my Mama Mae to be standing there with open arms to hold her like a baby and comfort her. And down here, mom said when I see a dog that I should think of her – so thank god I live on the bayou where people walk by with dogs all day long.
Ay querida Rachel,
Te mando toda la luz de mi alma en estos momentos tan difíciles y también en estos momentos llenos de esperanza. Dale a Pat todo mi amor y un fuerte abrazo. Hay que rezar para que ella pueda conseguir la paz y tranquilidad en su alma. Te quiero.
Ay mami, estoy emocionalmente en un huracán ahora – gracias por tu apollo y amor y todo.
hello rachel, i read your blog on occasion and am so excited that you’ll be adopting a baby soon. my mother died when i was younger and, though i have missed her tremendously through out the years, never so much as when i had my baby a few years ago. i know this must be such a bittersweet time. sending good thoughts your way.
Thanks a lot, I appreciate it. On any given day my mood swings from joy to sorrow and I know that others have suffered as much or more and so it does help to hear from you. I remember a woman I worked with years ago named Sally who lost both of her parents when she was young and I remember her saying that she stood there in her wedding dress in front of the mirror and said, “Where are you mom and dad, when I need you most right now.” Life is never what we’d like it to be, but it usually is even better than we expect it to be. Thanks.