On getting too close

There is some weird thing going on in my life where S keeps trying to get closer to my face – what is that? Then there is the whole ebb and flow thing where it is so unbelievably difficult to get ebb and flow together. I keep thinking of Bill Murray and that movie – does he have a kid or not and the way that bit of information changed every step forward – it’s ridiculous that women don’t have this kind of mystery in their lives – what if someone came to the door, some old flame like K or something and said, btw we have a child. How radical would that be? L was describing one of those enthusiastic mothers at UNO on the way home from playdate the other day – he said she has that smug look on her face. N said yeah, that “I’m the only one who has ever gotten pregnant” look, and I said, I thought it was that “I’m pregnant, you’re not,” smug look.

The detox plan seems to be rapidly unwinding but I will try to preservere if only for my waistline.

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