Dangermond.org

Let’s recap where we are now. It’s pouring down rain in New Orleans, a state I usually welcome when it is not compounding my mood. I’ve turned myself into a workaholic because it is the only holic that is getting me through these times. Mom’s prognosis turned more dour today as her likelihood of getting off the vent is now unlikely even by her most ardent supporter – the lung doctor. At the same time, she is the most alert I’ve seen her but then again her vent is upped to a level that signifies he has given up hope she will get off of it.

My darling sibling has issued a “shofa” on me if I don’t return a wicker table, jewelry mom had given me, as well as other trinkets. I’m not even sure what a shofa is – is it a pogrom? – it sounds like some vaguely Jewish word that might have come into being through some sort of Born Again Christian Hebrew wantabes. Not sure. It is a very suspicious word.

The adoption proceedings are here today, gone tomorrow, and we’re hopeful but cautious and who knows, we could have our lives turned upside down in as few as six weeks or this could go on forever.

I got on the scale this morning – 14 pounds heavier than I was nearly two years ago when I was just fine, and could stand to gain no more weight. Sigh.

I refuse to buy clothes that fit me and so I’m relegated to a very select few articles of clothing and a closet full of others that I’d like to be wearing.

But let’s not think disturbing thoughts – let’s flip those thoughts – I’m loving the rain (true), loving myself (true), loving my life (true) even though I’m sad about my mom (true), excited about a baby (true), and able to transcend freaks with pogroms on their minds (true).

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 22nd, 2009 at 5:45 pm and is filed under Main. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.