Finding solitude and tranquility
Yesterday afternoon, I wanted to hula hoop, walk Loca, go to the grocery, and finish a few projects that I had and instead, I just took the two chairs that T puts together to recline in in the morning on the screen porch and brought my Sunday New York Times and lit the candle and sat there and read the paper while I looked out at the already almost overgrown garden.
I curbed the desire to want to weed, to want to get the clothes out of the dryer, to do any number of projects that would keep me active, busy, on my feet, engaged, and settled in for just one thing.
A friend of mine is married to an Eastern European woman and we were both acknowledging how in the cultural differences one of the standouts is their ability to enjoy. The Germans have a name for enjoyment – it’s called gemutlich – which is actually the act of being cozy, comfortable, and at ease in a social setting.
The pleasure I found was more about solitude and quiet as I had been in a social setting for the entire weekend, but it was definitely cozy, comfortable and relaxing.
Americans have so much to learn about reaping the rewards – we spend a lifetime working for them – but so little time enjoying them.
April 28th, 2009 at 11:38 am
You touched on a theme here that I like. One of the things I noticed about so many people my age or near it is that almost frenzied pace of life to show you still “have it,” or you’re “still cool” or whatever it is people think they have to be to be viable. Few of the women in my social classes making lists of goals of their lives in retirement couldn’t understand it when I insisted on not having any…sure, goals can be important but to me they’re so over-rated. My goal–during these “wintersong” years of my life–was to enjoy living without needing one. To me, swings and front porch chairs are very under appreciated. Those weeds, or their seeds, will be there tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
April 28th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
I’m so far behind on this concept that it has taken T to turn my attention to the power of just being. It seems like I indulge in an emotion that is purely unproductive and that is guilt – it feeds why I work too hard, why I never feel like a good enough daughter, or felt like a good enough wife, or friend, etc.
Last night was so peaceful and it gave back so much to me by way of peace of mind but for some reason on a daily basis I find it hard to get to that point or rather when I stand still it’s usually because I’ve collapsed in bed and fallen sound asleep.
My goal in my 50s is to ameliorate guilt. I’m trying to adopt a child which I’m sure could give me all sorts of new reasons to feel guilty, so I want to make sure I have some tools in hand to keep this behavior in check.