I was getting my hair done today and Maria was asking me about my mother and I said she’s laid up in bed having cracked a rib and as a matter of fact, she had just called me on my way there to ask me to bring her some boxed wine. Maria said, “tu eres una benedicion para tu mama” – I said I don’t want to drive out to Metairie in 5:00 traffic to bring boxed wine to my mother who hasn’t gotten out of bed since she got there on Sunday afternoon. Maria said, “pero es tu mama, y lo necessita, un poquito de vino para su dolor” – good grief, now the guilt was a thick as it could be.
So leaving Maria’s, I went by Rite Aid and got two boxes of wine and then I walked out into 6:00 traffic with a box of wine in each hand and I’m sure the entire city of New Orleans saw me. When I got to my mom’s she was sitting at the kitchen table and she said, “You’re never going to believe what just happened.” And I said, “Try me.”
She said, she got a phone call and a woman’s voice said, “Hello, this is Rachel, I have an incredible offer to help you consolidate your debt. Press 1 if you want to learn more, or press 2 if you are not interested.” Mom said, “I normally always press 2, but I was intrigued because her name was Rachel. So then a woman comes on the line and says matter of factly,’Sorry, we can’t help you today.'”
Mom said, “I got so mad! I don’t even have any outstanding debt. [Sigh] I just wanted to talk to Rachel.”
So, of course, the moral of this story is THANK THE FUCKING LORD and the maker of Franzia that I drove out to Metairie with two boxes of wine for my mother because really, how could I not?