In an ideal scenario, you would look like this: _____.

Put down your ideal scenario for a mate on paper and then watch what happens. I was speaking to a woman today who was in a bad relationship and she went to hear music and while she was grooving to this great band, the man she would marry four years later was grooving next to her. And she inherited two lovely children, 6 and 8 years old, too boot. I told her that she had found my ideal mate – to meet someone while listening to music you love and they come with insta-family. But she said, whoa Nelly, I never wanted children. I wasn’t looking for a man because I was sick of the one I had. He was not the ideal scenario at the time. Even though it turned out good, it wasn’t what I was looking for. And I said don’t you just know it – my ideal partner now looks a lot different than the one I had sketched out for myself a year ago or even six months ago – very different, I must say. It’s like E said last time I had a session with her – you might be able to check off all the items on your list with a person, but if they don’t connect to what’s inside of you, nothing on that list matters. 

The list started looking a little pale last October and by November I decided to chuck my outline of an ideal mate because the one who had the most checks ended up being a fig newton of my imagination. 

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