Alchemy Happens

A colleague of mine sent me this a few months ago:

The time for healing of the wounds has come.
The time to build is upon us…
We pledge ourselves to liberate all our people
from the continuing bondage of poverty, deprivation,
suffering, gender and other discrimination…
There is no easy road to freedom…
None of us acting alone can achieve success.
We must therefore act together as a united people,
for reconciliation, for nation building,
for the birth of a new world.
—Nelson Mandela

I was reminded of it today as a friend sent me the gift of a healing energy session with a woman in California. We worked through some stuff today, yes indeed, we did. We shuffled energy around, severed ties, and I began to walk the path of forgiveness. I forgive myself and I forgive the mother fucking asshole who hurt my son. Yes, I can’t say it any other way right now, but I said that, which is huge. The woman who did the work with me had suffered as a young child and she grew up to become a person who wanted to help hurt people heal.

Alchemy happens.

The week has been long, last week was even longer, and eventually we will go back to time flying by like a high speed locomotive. Some things keep getting re-affirmed. When I met my child, I saw the world in him, and his capacity to grow up powerful and strong. I saw the quality that one sees in a future leader, in someone that might heal the world. I am constantly getting confirmation of this potential in him.

As for me, I still have paces to go to get to the sort of strength he exhibits on a daily basis. I am, as my ex said, too generous and too trusting. That trust has been shaken to the core, in the very things that I put my love and energy, I was given back equal doses of pain. And now I need to sort all this out in my head. I long to get back to my gratitude jar, to close my eyes at night in faith that I will have sweet dreams, to wake up with hope that I am on the right path.

I’m a spiritual warrior and I’ve seen battle before, but I needed a lot of comrades to rise above this one. Gifts of healing have come to me, the extraordinary blessing of friendship has sustained me, and every day I gather my strength to get back to my vortex of love.

This guy, this one right here, he’s got it all going on – he’s my super hero:

2 Responses to “Alchemy Happens”

  1. MUDD Says:

    Sitting here on the sofa in my small but cozy living room / office / studio thinking how grateful I am that you are blessed with caring friends around you. That’s because you’re constantly on my mind and I can’t help but worry even though I know you’ll rise… you already ARE rising. But still, you need a lot of care and I do hope you’ll continue to reach for healing wherever and from whomever you can.

    Also sitting with huge smile, mesmerized by Tin’s outstanding skills — what a performance!

    LOVE and a STANDING OVATION
    Mudd
    XOX

  2. Rachel Says:

    Thanks Mudd – I kept wanting to wake up normal and now am accepting that this is going to be a process, of indeterminate length. Lots of love, Rachel

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