A Broken Mother

Today is one week that my life turned upside down after my son was assaulted by someone we knew. Every night the dreams come, every morning the reality returns. Last night, I dreamed that my voice was a spirit outside of me and it was a bright yellow light that filled all space around it and it was yelling STOP throughout the house while my body remained paralyzed in bed.

Mama Sula came to the house to burn incense on Monday. She came to drum the evil and fear away, and to ring the angels in from east, north, south and west. She prayed that a band of angels surround this house and kill anyone who means to harm us.

My friend brought me a rose quartz signifying mother’s love, and I placed in my bra, near my heart, which has been breaking.

We will heal, one minute at a time, but I had to see Ellen to get mantras to keep me strong. It’s done and will never happen again. Justice will be swift. Tin is brave and a healer.

Today, I decided to focus on what is positive in our life because I’ve been dragging my heart around and it shut me down. So I am grateful for my brave, strong boy. I am grateful for my friends who circled around me like a band of angels and have proven capable of cutting or kicking or maiming any person who would harm us.

This afternoon, still lethargic and heavy in my spirit, I went out to the backyard to smoke a thin cigar and when I turned around the Virgin Mary statue that my friend gave me when I first moved to the Spirit House crashed to the ground and was decapitated.

My sentiments exactly. My son is healing, the mother is still fragile.


4 Responses to “A Broken Mother”

  1. MUDD Says:

    Oh Rachel…

    Why did I not contact you in the last few days when I couldn’t stop thinking of you? Why did I not listen to my intuition and ask you if you were all right?

    I lit two candles — one for Tin, one for you.
    There are no words. There is only LOVE.
    Know that I’ll be surrounding both of
    you with my love… non-stop… and
    burning candles.

    My picture of St. Anne — cracked, torn, faded —, one that used to belong to my paternal grandmother, lies between both candles. For protection. For healing. For better days to come.

    I know you are surrounded with beautiful caring friends. But if ever you need to talk, you know I’m here for you.

    The Virgin Mary statue that crashed = POWERFUL! I believe it was her way of making her presence felt… of reaching out to you in your immense pain… from one tragically hurt mom to another.

    Give Tin a big hug for me, will you?
    I love both of you SO much.

    Take care, darling friend…

  2. Rachel Says:

    mudd – I love you and the light you bring into our lives. Thanks for sending more of it our way. love, R

  3. wanda Says:

    Rachel — I love you and Tin so much.
    My response to the statue breaking was “thank you”. I saw it as a sign of the mother breaking the energies — clearing. I keep seeing water as a healing source for you. Our mother of the ocean. Add salt to your bath. I’m sending some healings your way.


  4. Rachel Says:

    Thanks Wanda – I felt the tension clear with the statue breaking too. I’m just working on clearing the energy out of parts of this house. Rachel

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