All this and Maya Angelou too
Today, my big boy graduated from Pre-K and spent his last day at Waldorf. Oh Lordy – I couldn’t even talk to Ms. Heidi, his teacher, who I thought he would be with for two more years of kindergarten. I just got in the truck and balled my eyes out. So many emotions – one that my precious child was entrusted with these people for three years of his life and now we’re leaving them. And another that the school in the end touched me equally and helped me grow. Oh my, Waldorf, I will miss you.
And then I learned Maya Angelou died today and I cried so many tears that I had to stop reading Facebook posts because each one reminded me of how great a spirit she was and how much she graced my life – all of our lives. I know why the caged bird sings – oh my. Incredible. As I said there – she was a vessel filled with a king’s ransom and she enriched all of our lives – the very definition of a spiritual being having a human experience.
So now I’m crying because my son has crossed a threshold today then I’m crying because a great human being has transitioned and then I went to see Belle, and I cried and cried some more about all of it and me.
It has rained all day, and I have cried all day.
This afternoon, I also figured out why all these married men keep a coming at me – they want what I have – they want to hold it in their hand, they want to gain access, they want to claim, have, know, grab hold of. And quite simply, it has nothing to do with me. This misrepresentation on their part causes no tears on my part – it does not – I am not sad, mad, or glad – I am me and I am love. And I do suspect they want that too.
Last night, the tarot cards told me that I shy away from risking my heart and I need to be brave. Today I read countless posts of Maya Angelou glorifying the name of love. I love. But on this, I am certain, I deserve more than another woman’s man.
