That tapping sound you hear
I told Tin that when he left for Croatia the first thing I would do is boo hoo and then I would sit and tap my fingers waiting for him to come home. No one tells you this about parenthood. They don’t prepare you anywhere for this love. The love that has you in life with someone who blames you for everything and shows you his absolute worst side whenever there is an opportunity and yet, you can’t imagine being without them. What is that all about?
What I do know is that while he is away – he is growing in leaps and bounds – he is experiencing new and familiar people and places and he will come home richer from the experience. Everyone needs a grandmother and he has one there as well as friends and family.
I, on the other hand, could have spent this time resting – reading – and lolly gagging – but instead I’ve spent it racing around with friends and going about untethered save for Stella’s short leash. It’s interesting because as much as I strain against the leash, in the end, I love the comfort of our rhythms – the one that has me thinking about three square meals for Tin and potty/play/nap time for Stella.
We build a box and then we try to figure out a way to climb out of it.
I wonder what human ant farm box would look like: running past our parents…swirling the light fantastic…falling in love and out and in and out and in and out (and always too soon)… and then taking a deep breath, looking back, throwing our heads back in laughter and then going to sleep…for a very long time.
Another revolution is approaching for me and that tapping sound you hear is me calling my son home – he’s been gone too long.
