I have no use for virgins

My 15-year-old friend boldly sent a letter to her crush and said simply, “I have a crush on you.” The response was awkward – “We’re cool.” I told her, you cut through the ambiguity – you’re brave – if he remains ambiguous, that’s him. Do you.

I went to a wedding last night – a man was marrying his dream bride – he wore black and she wore white. I had hoped to dance, instead I found myself deep in Spanish with the sexy Cuban drummer and in the throes of speaking my own truth to a friend (emboldened by the 15-year-old) and then, as an afterthought, flirting casually with the doppelgänger who sported grey dreds. I came home and found Heidi had ripped apart my beautiful robes hanging on the back of the door. The green satin one from Shanghai; the orange one with quince flowers from San Francisco. Thunderstorms drive her to madness.

I lay in bed with my own madness and read Jane Hirshfield — she came rushing at me across the pages as if she had been my date and saw what I saw and heard what I heard and thought what I thought.

I HAVE NO USE FOR VIRGINS

I have no use for virgins–
give me the cup
with a chipped lip,
whose handle is glued back on
and whose glaze is dark from use.
Let many men and women
drink from us before
we drink–
I taste their breasts on your breast,
you cover their blaze between my legs.

***

AUTUMN QUINCE

How sad they are,
the promises we never return to.
They stay in our mouths,
roughen the tongue, lead lives of their own.
Houses built and unwittingly lived in;
a succession of milk bottles brought to the door
every morning and taken inside.

And which one is real?
The music in the composer’s ear
or the lapsed piece the orchestra plays?
The world is a blurred version of itself–
marred, lovely, and flawed.
It is enough.

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I took this photo in Qingdao – they have a wedding day and brides + grooms go to the waterfront to be photographed.

2 Responses to “I have no use for virgins”

  1. Alice Says:

    Damn! How I wish I could write poetry like that!

  2. Rachel Says:

    I know right? I love her.

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