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Rejoicing in sorrow

The phrase of the day is life is lifing. It’s what my friend said when I asked about her husband who had cancer and was dying. It’s a phrase that has been used to say right now it’s not good, it’s not bad. Lifing holds in its orbit all things that could happen to a person on a given day, in a lived life. I have worked diligently to calm my nervous system from all…

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Requiem for a Woman

What if the very thing that destroys you also saves you? In May 2005, I moved home to New Orleans after being away for 16 years in California. I was fighting demons. I had miscarried ten times. I had slept with my best friend, who was also my husband’s best friend. I was not in my best form. I had advanced into familiar chaos. I had been trying to build a family, better than the…

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Las Mujeres

There is a song Linda Ronstadt sings, from her Mexican heritage, about women, the lyrics are: Oh the women ‘cross the river carry water from the well at break of day And they talk to one another; God only knows what they might say You might get an education after years of dedicationYou might finally get a glimpse of what is right and what is wrong But the women ‘cross the river; well they knew that all alongOh…

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Viva Mexico, Viva America

I spent a week in Mexico City and fell in love again with the people, culture, food and art. All of that passion and aliveness was summed up in a song – Viva Mexico! Viva! Viva America! Viva! In La Tacuba, the estudiantinas sang and the diners all responded, and I started crying. I felt so alive and joyful – tears were streaming down into my smile and the singer came over and asked for…

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Conversations with my son

Here’s what no one told me, having a child was going to turn me inside out, expose the soft parts, the scars, the missing connectors, the entrenched and mystifying behaviors, and force me into the most uncomfortable growth of my life. No one said this. I thought I was raising a child, instead I was learning to parent myself. Yesterday, I had a conversation with my son where I had to tell him why I…

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To Be a Work of Art

A friend told me that when she first met me she thought of me as a luna moth – this came up because another friend, an artist, wants to paint dragonflies on my walls. Dragonflies symbolize adaptability and luna moths symbolize rebirth. Both winged creatures are symbols of transformation, but oh, if I could be like a luna moth and inhabit its experience just for a day? The luna moth is an exquisite masterpiece, perfect…

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What does my heart want to say?

I did a meditation this morning with Artist Morning, and Darius asked this question at the opening. What does my heart want to say? Mine wants to say, I’m here, I’m vulnerable, and I can handle it. Ha! In the chat, someone said vulnerability is a bridge. Yes, it is a bridge to another human, to the universe, to sorrow and to joy. And it begins with a brave heart. I’d like to think I…

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Bobby Rush and me

Owning the 100 Men Hall has offered me a wild ride in this life. I’ve met so many people, made so many friends, and every day has been different from the day before or the day after. And there have been highlights. So many highlights. One was the day Bobby Rush came to the Hall to play a Blues Brunch and stole my heart. Here was a superstar, an icon, the King of the Chitlin’…

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