Lesbian whore
My neighbor thinks a lesbian whore is the best woman he can think of. Go figure.
Category: Main
Main category.
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An appropriate end to the day
I’ve been thinking about T’s safety – I’m going out of town this week and I was worried about evacuation, but later in the day after my sister threw the rocking chair down the porch I worried about nutballs and thought about a restraining order. My horoscope: August 24, 2009 Taurus (4/20-5/20) You’re ordinarily quite respectful of family members — especially your elders — and of friends, too. But no matter who it is, if you…
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A Gothic break in the action
My sister arrived while I was gone and decided she was the Queen of Sheba and proceeded to tell everyone at the hospital she is – no one is listening. I get back and have numerous phone calls that basically go like this – Where is mom’s diamond ring? Where is the wicker table that was in the living room that I gave her? Where is the key to her safety deposit box? I have…
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I’ll take Puerto Rico, please
While we were gone they called us about a birthmother who is due in a month and the father is Puerto Rican – did we mind? DO WE MIND – give me that Puerto Rican baby right now we said. Meanwhile, in the world of freaky things and coincidences we got an email from a friend and Tatjana responded while we were in Porto – the friend said that’s weird I’m making a cake that…
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Queer to you, but also familiar
When we arrived at the Ambassador’s house, his housekeeper greeted us to open the big wrought iron gates. She was confused at first and said to us in perfect Spanish, “There is only one bed?” and we said “Great!” Till that moment we had been sleeping in the typical European king which is two twins pushed together and a crack the size of the Grand Canyon in between. In Lisbon, the front desk clerk had…
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Cradle to grave
We got a call about a potential baby while we were on our way back to Spain. Another family had dropped out and the woman is due in a month. Our hearts swelled and then before we could respond she had chosen another family. I read a Saramago book on the way over – All the Names – he’s a Portuguese author and I’ve missed his other books that I’ve been meaning to read. I…
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Dumb and dumber
Down here in New Orleans we used to have Hurricane Parties – these were when a hurricane was approaching, everyone would bring all the food from their refrigerator and eat and drink and make merry. We don’t do that much anymore. In England, I heard while traveling, they are having Swine Flu parties – where everyone comes and someone who has it comes and they all get infected so they can build up immunities.
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A silver lining in the fog
There are more Spanish visiting Spain’s coast this summer than ever! 300,000 Brits stayed behind. The recession is the reason. Hail hail the recession!
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A Jew Like You
I met a woman who was thrilled to meet me. She’d never met a Jew she told me. She said she heard we don’t go out at night. I assured her we do.
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A metaphor of T
Tatjana tells me a shortcut to get back to our town. She is a backseat driver. We are 8 kilometers away and I pull off to her shortcut. She’s proud of herself since she can’t read a map and is geographically challenged. (I am too, but she makes me look good.) An hour and a half later through an overgrown tree-covered winding road up and down and around a mountain we arrive to our town…