How to be a grown up – part one
For a woman who has seemed in life to be hell bent on repeating past behavior a la Sisyphus – in the past few days, I was able to recognize a dilemma I found myself in – I still have one foot rooted in the old me and one foot barely grounded in the new me, and without being fully formed, I was growing increasingly confused about just exactly who I am and/or want to be.
In typical old me fashion, I was waiting to go see E tomorrow afternoon and have her tell me who I am, when I thought, huh, I’m a big girl, I can figure this one out of my own, right? Just be honest with yourself and with whomever this affects.
So I thought about what feels right, and what doesn’t and decided, so maybe some of this is right, but some isn’t, and maybe it’s timing and maybe it’s me, but you know what, the end result is that it is not right for me right now.
And so I communicated this to the person it affects and the wonderful human being at the other end of the phone said, “ditto” (more eloquently, of course).
So in figuring out what I want, and not superseding that with what the other might want, I’m on my way to being a grown up. I’m slow, but not stupid.