Actions speak louder than words
Met a woman who used to be a merchandise manager at Macy’s – she loved her job – but she no longer has it – Macy’s has decided not to reopen in New Orleans. The downtown store was immediately scrapped, but everyone thought Esplanade Mall in Kenner was set to reopen after the roof damage was repaired but now Macy’s has said it officially is not coming back to New Orleans – I say boycott – support Saks.
Spike Lee’s documentary “When the levees broke: A requiem in four acts” will air on August 21 and 22 in two parts on HBO. Then in its entirety on August 29.
My Cougar friend is on Match.com and she had a guy ask her what she has learned from her past relationships – she wrote him a long diatribe but said in the end she condensed it to one thing – actions speak louder than words. I agree. Making out with your ex when you are newly married says a lot about the investment you are making into your marriage and inaction also speaks volumes. Don’t want to bring flowers because it is “wanted” or “expected” – give me a break – you don’t love enough to do something for someone else. End of story.
My learning curve started back in San Francisco when I started seeing a nutritionist because I was fascinated with eating right but never seemed to get the right mix of food to satiate me. I went through a program with a woman name Sonia that was enlightening. I learned I was hypoglycemic – a condition that is not fully recognized by the medical community much like PMS is not recognized (that alone is enough to make you want to run away from the medical community). So I now eat four small meals a day and don’t let 4 waking hours go by without eating a balanced meal of protein, complex carbs, fat and vegetables and fruit. But I also learned a lot of emotional issues were caught up in my eating – which had wide and many tendrils but boiled down to not feeling adequate enough to be accepted for who I am – at work I had to be perfect, to my lovers I have to do everything for them, with my family I have to be always yielding – this has carried over into my recent therapy and has led me to a wider understanding that our actions are an attempt to get a reaction, but if you have been going through life issuing the same actions and getting the same reactions that aren’t working for you – maybe that whole game plan isn’t working and you need to reevaulate.
When I began my long journey here of reevaluating how I took care of my men to ensure they would love me I did not have any idea that I would wind up where I am today – but once you see and understand the situation, you have to hop the worn path you are in and find a new groove. Inevitably I picked selfish men who couldn’t or wouldn’t give back in equal measure so I often felt that as much as I could do for them it would never be enough. I know marriages that work that way – the lover and the beloved – the lover is constantly trying to please the beloved but the beloved will not be pleased. This is the dynamic that makes ficition great, but is not going to make my life great.
Nirvana is what I seek – balance in all aspects of life – work, home, love, friendship, family – I have had enough drama.