Cry Me a River

So while Tatjana is out of town, I’m using her car. I actually started using her car a couple of months ago to pick up Tin when I couldn’t afford the gas to go back and forth across town to his school. So I was happy to have the car and my gas bill reduced to a quarter of what I normally spend for this week.

Only Thursday, I took Tin to a playdate in the Quarter and we were able to squeeze into one of those miniature spots that my truck would never get into, and lo and behold, I walked outside afterwards to find my car had been towed. $200.

Then yesterday, I stopped to get something on the way to pick up Tin from school, and I couldn’t get the car to start again. So Tin had to go to aftercare and I had to call AAA. The guy came and said I needed a new battery and he had just sold the one that fit my car earlier that day. So he jumped the car and said to keep it running until I could get it to the shop. So I called the school and had them bring Tin out to me and as we were making our way home, the car died while we were driving. So we had to call AAA again. $107.

We were stalled right in the middle of Memorial Day weekend going home on Friday traffic and nobody was happy about it – except me. I was sort of chuckling about the whole thing.

See this past winter, I was told that after spending $400 I would need to pay $1200 to have the heater really fixed the way it should have been installed. And I opted not to. And so then Entergy decided that they had read my meter incorrectly and in March, when I thought we were out of the cold woods, they billed me for $1200. I thought at first it was a joke, but it wasn’t.

Or perhaps it was.

See the elephant is my spirit animal and that is why I have always been drawn to Ganesha. Ganesha is the Hindu deity who is the remover of obstacles. Only the rub with Ganesha is that he actually places the obstacles too. And that is why this fat elephant is always laughing and smiling. It’s a great cosmic joke.

So for over one year I’ve been studying Ganesha and his humor. Because when I moved into the three-room apartment on Grand Route St. John after selling the LaLa, my client cancelled on me, reducing my income to less than one half of what I anticipated it would be. See, I thought I could take a breath and relax but that was not in the cards. Instead of falling apart, the financial blow pushed me into my Transracial Parenting with a more concerted effort.

Since this week started with Wednesday’s notice that my other client had cancelled which then segued into my “cheap” car woes, I got a glimpse into what I’ve learned over this year and a half – none of this stuff matters.

There are things that do matter and I’m working on those. And when you begin to do your soul work you attract those people who are on the same path. Which is why, yesterday I had lunch with the founder of SistaWorks who asked me to be on the Board. Another spoke for my race and parenting wheelhouse.

I also received notice that I will be working with the Central City Welcome Table group, which is about race reconciliation. Our first meeting is Wednesday. I’ve thrown my name into the ring as a facilitator.

I do believe – sincerely – that God laughs while you make plans – and right now I’m laughing too. The Universe does not want me to get fat and happy – it wants me to be lean and clean – ready to tackle important missions.

When you are about to give birth or die is when the greatest fear surrounds you – recognizing the fear that comes in the midst of creative energy is a step towards enlightenment.

On my soul path are many beautiful people full of light and love – one posted an illustration on her blog of a tear shed for all we have done to Mother Earth – it is an apology of sorts – it is symbol of healing. I am grateful for my friend and for the wisdom that has come through the obstacles that are placed in front of me.


4 Responses to “Cry Me a River”

  1. Mudd Says:

    Hey Beautiful You… thanks for including me in a post with Ganesha. And thanks for the link. But most of all, thanks for being in my life. I mean it. I love you. xox

  2. Rachel Says:

    Mudd – I love you too!!

  3. graham da ponte Says:

    Rachel you continue to amaze. If I were half as open and brave as you are I would be half as awesome. Which would be awesome enough for me! Love you!

  4. Rachel Says:

    Oh Graham – I know you are braver than you suspect. Thank you.

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