I’ve been here before
I have this memory, which I have recounted here, of living in a shotgun house during periods of transition, which is where I find myself again. Only, this time is different; I’m much more aware of the fact that I’m in transition, that right now all things are possible, and that this shotgun holds moments of unbridled joy that have yet to happen.
So it is that I have positioned a chair just so in my yard, and I have seated myself there the past two days for a snack, or a sip of tea, and I have listened to the birds that congregate in the large tree, and I’ve felt the warmth of spring arriving, and I’ve been there, in my backyard, in this shotgun, which is housing my transition.
The Zen Master Teacher said that fear is a good thing, it helps us, but fear is a child and has no discernment so that we need be mindful of when fear has no necessity. Oh, I’ve been here before, it’s not that scary, this is okay, this is what happens here.
And so it is that I am in this shotgun healing from a long stretch of discovery and bending and reshaping that has taken place within me. And instead of feeling the need to flee this place to get to where I’m going (wherever that is), this time I realize that this is a weighing station in my life and while I sit here the places I might could go are endless, boundless, outside of even my own imaginings.
I’ve been here before, but I was restless to get to the next place and didn’t hear the birds or see the butterflies. Now I do.
