Positive Memory

During my time living on Cleveland Avenue in the Spirit House, I began to wonder why most of what I conjure in my mind leans towards trauma, the tragic, the hurt, or the pain. I read a lot about how the mind works. Your mind has a negativity bias that is rooted in evolution. Your brain prioritizes and processes negative information more thoroughly than positive information because it would and could save your life.

To counter this negativity bias, I began tweeting on Twitter, now X, a positive memory at 2PM every day. I would reach back in time and think of something that made me smile, warmed my heart, or gave me joy. It was the antidote I needed at the time to get past what became a laundry list of losses that I was wallowing in. Here is an example of one of my positive memories:

We had moved to Bay Saint Louis in July 2018, having purchased the 100 Men Hall at the end of May. My son did not go to school here, and there were no kids on our block. In August, a woman began calling me, I say stalking me, while I was steeped in trying to figure out my whole entire life, and what the hell I was doing living in a Blues Hall in Mississippi with a defunct nonprofit that required me to pay a fine to start it back up.

Her name was Ann Madden, and she wanted to use the Hall for a fundraiser for David Baria.

I laugh about it now, but Ann called me under many guises – Ann Madden with Smith & Lens Gallery, Ann Madden, a photographer, Ann Madden with the David Baria campaign. In my mind, I thought she was a nutball, a stalker, and kept thinking who the hell is this woman who keeps calling me under all these aliases? She finally got through to me one day, and from the moment I started talking to her, I fell in love with Ann Madden.

Towards the end of our first conversation, I told her my dilemma — my son wanted to meet friends here. She introduced me to her daughter, Gigi, who decided right then and there to undertake this mission like a boss. She invited Tin for a bike ride and then invited him into her bike gang – the Scorpions – and to say that his acceptance into this gang was spectacular is an understatement. He was so thrilled to be included.

The Scorpion bike gang was short lived as kids in it were already aging out of this magic, but I have the memory locked into a tweet on X – (is it still a tweet on X?) – and I will have to remind Tin next time we visit of this positive memory. These positive memories were the antidote to wallowing, to thinking it had been a tough, rough, hard and challenging life when there had been so much joy in between.

So much happened from that first encounter with Ann. Cedric Burnside came to play for the event, and a lifelong bond was made with him and his family. Cedric has returned to play the Hall every year since. The day we opened the door on the Baria event was the day I opened the Hall in earnest and watched the community stream in by the dozens.

Ann brought me into her fold. Gigi brought Tin into hers. Sometimes, one person lets you in, and then you are off, skipping down your yellow brick road.

Recording and documenting helps when your memory is going sour and I mean that, your memory is not always your friend. I used to record Tin’s saying as #Tinisms and they still give me so much joy. Today, the positive memory has been replaced by three things I am grateful for that I text to five friends around 2PM every day. There are days when I’m pulling from down deep to find something to be grateful for, yet every afternoon, once I open the spigot, gratitude pours out of me – sometimes it’s as simple as hot running water, a heron spreading their wings as they take flight from the ditch, good friends.

[Thank you for reading my blog posts, I love hearing from you and hope you would respond here on my blog, I love having the conversation captured, to revisit as time goes by – it gets lost in the socials.]