We pull material from everywhere and so it is not without a slight wink wink that I say the situation here took a turn for the worse. I walked to Starbucks just to feel human – what does that say about where I am? I’m stuck in the midwest, to me this landscape always makes me feel hemmed in – like if I don’t see water I’ll go insane. I’m an earth sign – really – you can’t believe I would say that – right? – oh yes you can – but I do embody all the glib depictions of a Taur-babe – earthy and solid. But I need to be by water to live otherwise I start feeling like I’m in the movie Soylent Green where everyone starts looking like some factory production of food or just plain alien.
I feel alien and that is what I was trying to describe to my partner on the phone as I sat in the laundromat of the Best Western and watched the truck driver come in and dump in what looked like 18-year-old soiled clothes into the washing machine and then walk right back out to his rig, just as an orangish color Cadillac pulled up sporting a fat man wearing a velour striped orange and red tunic and a young woman with a blonde ponytail. Hooker! my thoughts were screaming as I watched them enter a room.
I want to go home and I miss you was what I was trying to say to my partner but all she heard was aggravation and dissatisfaction within. Not true. The communication always breaks down when there is a cellular divide between Zsa Zsa and me because language on top of distance equals discontent.
Another week we have to be here the lawyer says, and I say I need to go home, and so it starts snowing, like full on white snow covering everything and I think to myself why is it when adopting children, there has to be snow, it has to be the midwest, and I have to be driving almost 1000 miles?
