No defense for my food
I finished reading In Defense of Food and ordered The Omnivore’s Dilemma. Pollan talks a lot about things that are core to my belief but he also points his finger directly at some habits that have been hard to kick. Americans, he says, are driven to consume food on the go and in the recent decades solely on the basis of nutrition nonsense rather than the pleasure of eating. I would say when I see people ordering nonfat anything I’m usually rolling my eyes at them but I know when I order my whole milk they are rolling their eyes at me.
But I remember a time when I said I wish there was just a pill to take instead of eat as I have no time for it. Breakfast in the morning is slurped down – usually real food – steel cut oats, cut up fruit and yoghurt – but slurped none the less as I rush to my desk. Then for lunch it is the ubiquitous burrito (made in Texas, sold at Whole Foods, always hard to find) because I can nuke it for a minute, carry it in one hand, while I scarf if down. I try to throw in an apple or carrots when I can. But getting pleasure out of food is hard because food to me is always fraught with issues.
I love good food, and we eat real food 99% of the time, but I have trouble eating my own good cooking. After I have spent so much time with the food, I love to watch others eat it but don’t care to eat it myself. I’m always worried about my weight and having low blood sugar issues when I’m trying to cut back and I can’t tolerate alcohol without food. So I get caught up in nutrition, weight gain, naturalness, and need. Instead of sitting down to enjoy a home cooked meal.
After finishing the book I decided a goal would be to start having dinner with Tin so that he could learn table manners and I could learn how to enjoy food again. And I also said I wouldn’t eat on the run but this morning when I suddenly had a report to edit, instead of being able to go out and enjoy the beautiful Boston weather and sit and have a nice breakfast in the park or at a cafe, I found myself ordering $30 room service, half ass eating while typing and then psycho crazily showering to get ready for a meeting.
I have no defense – not for food or myself. I know that as an American, I’m an overachiever, but tell me how can we be anything else in this society? How can I slow down and eat when I can’t slow down? I need a complete life make over and right now the olive grove in Dalmatia sounds like the best life plan. It would certainly help my Croatian.