Learning to live by your gut
Over the past days, weeks, months, however long it has been my ability to navigate has been clouded by many factors outside of my control. The situation with my mother has been obfuscated by well meaning people who have not nearly had a handle on the situation that I understood intuitively from the get go. At the same time, there has been the adoption situation that I freely gave myself over to without skepticism once we started heading down a road and then was thrown for a loop when the cup that I was staring out turned out to be half empty not half full – but again I had this sudden awakening that the scales had been removed from my eyes not that things had changed.
Similarly, there have been events lately in my life that have pushed my back hairs up and when someone asked me what my reasons were for saying no, the only answer I could give is it doesn’t feel right. Something is wrong, I just don’t know exactly what.