Focus on me
A reporter sends me a card – “I kind of wish we had backup singers” – says she thought of me when she read it – I wrote her back and claimed I am starting a solo career instead of seeking a group. Another colleague who is now off to Africa to volunteer in an orphanage sends a card with an earnest message “wanted to say, though stressful at times, I will miss working with you. Work (and life) need not be easy to be worthwhile and meaningful.” This from a woman who called me intimidating. But she’s right – the meaning of life is not to be comfortable, it’s to live it. L softens at the end of her note and says she appreciates now my “forthrightness, your intellect – but mostly your humor and your laugh!” She’ll be in Africa for three months to start – might be worth a trip – although I feel hemmed in by a house that wants every drop of blood I can give it and by blood I include money to nerves and hey I forgot, just how many days is it to hurricane season?
First half of this glorious Sunday was spent cleaning up the LaLa – Arlene hung out on the porch guarding the bayou, and I filled garbage bags full of debris the workers have strewn everywhere. I cleaned the side yard of orange soda cans and empty Marlboro boxes and created a wood pile in the front yard. Faced with a back yard that was chock a block with house wrap, wood, orange soda cans and empty Marlboro boxes, I called it a day and came home. A quick shower and turn around and picked up G and we went to Le Brasserie for Irish coffee and afternoon talk. She’s interested in investing in real estate so we went to look at a double in the Bywater that seemed like an interesting proposition for perhaps both of us. Then we walked over to Bacchanal for music and wine in the courtyard. For certain we both agreed we love that neighborhood and could move there ourselves – it’s got that nice mix of funk, architecture, and cute boys. We both agreed for sure on bike messengers.
I have been meditating on changes in my life – change in the way I think about work, change in the way I perceive my strength, change in the way I accommodate partners – the woman I met in New York a few years ago who spoke at a conference said “think like a trapeze artist – it is between letting go and grasping the next bar that opportunities reside” – I mentioned this to G about how we have to perceive the opportunities and not be tied to habit or programming. We talked about C who opened Bacchanal – moved here when he was in his early twenties and worked at restaurants and wanted to own a wine bar and one day this building went up for sale and it had the yard and he made it happen. G said that Bacchanal was the first place she went when she got back from the evacuation – before she even went home. It’s also where she went when she broke up with her boyfriend. While we were sitting there A walked in and turns out we both know her – she’s drop dead beautiful and sings cabaret downtown.
It’s about focus and clarity about knowing what you want and then taking a risk. I have been saying I never want to redo a house again, but the thought of maybe investing in real estate, investing in New Orleans, all seems to make sense. It’s good to focus with the parts of me that are once again fully functioning – the head works, the heart doesn’t – so focus on things that require the head for now.
S sent me renderings of the Hawaii house – it looks so fresh and new that it makes the LaLa seem like an antique. I measured the outdoor shower for shutters – albeit shutters cost an arm and a leg – if I had any clue how much the rest of the house is going to cost I could maybe gage if I can afford them – but nooooooo, no one seems to want to tell me how much.