Bourbon, candle light, and the seeker
Last night, went with friends to see American Gangster – it was a good film, good acting, but in the end I felt it lacked drama as though they were simply retelling a true story, too true to be deemed entertainment. Coming home everyone was in the mood for a little bourbon, so we came to the LaLa and lit all the candles and poured some aged bourbon over crushed ice and I suggested a seance but J worried we’d call spirits in that we weren’t prepared to deal with so I read everyone’s Tarot cards instead.
Everyone seemed impressed by how meaningful the readings were so they turned it around on me and read my cards.
I long ago learned to read via a system of interpretation and layout – I think the layout I use is called the celtic cross but it has been improvised on over years of reading. There is the card in the center and a card that is placed perpendicular to cover it – the center card is what the reading is all about and the card that covers is what informs that theme. Then in groups of three around this core are the top for career, right is relationship, bottom is environment/home, left is heart’s desire. Two extra cards are laid to the side at the beginning – one for major wish and the other a minor wish.
My reading turned out to be pretty meaningful as well. What was at the core was the three of cups – three women draped in robes who raise their goblets to the sky and stand on tip toes as if in mid-dance. Sound familiar? What covered this card was the King of Wands – also referred to as the Prince of the Chariot of Fire – the card is known to be “The Seeker” – it is an airy quality of fire, symbolic of smoke and expansion – the King of Wands indicates impulsive, intuitive, and highly creative character, symbolizing swiftness and strength in word and deed. Inherent in this personality are qualities of individuality, ambition, justice and straightforwardness…a warm and generous heart with a good sense of humor and possessing a natural and infectious optimism. The King of Wands tackles every aspect of life with enthusiasm and vigor, being friendly, gregarious and open in attitude with a healthy sense of personal value while remaining supportive and encouraging to others. This is a card of boundless energy and power. The King of Wands is aligned with actions taken on impulse and a character easily influenced by external circumstances. There is often an inherent violence in this individual’s desires to see the ideals of truth and creativity upheld. The King of Wands is fair and just but is deeply aware that true justice may not be found in this world. Therefore there is a tendency to look beyond for guidance and inspiration…thus becoming The Seeker.
There you have it – my earlier conversations and realizations during this week are I am choosing emotionally unavailable people to be attracted to because then I don’t have to have a relationship at all – so while at the core of my reading is me, in mid-dance, celebrating my life (a minor digression: after our morning Thanksgiving drama where we had to sit on the floor and cry and tell everyone how this one hurt this one’s feelings and this one never understands, a few of us drove off and I cranked Valerie up on the truck stereo and right by the Fairgrounds – which was opening day by the way – we hopped out and began to dance like mad to Amy Winehouse singing her heart out and cars came by with folks dressed to the nines, driving into the horse races for opening day, and I recognized Steve’s ex boss and waved hi, and we kept dancing and L’s dogs were dancing with us – and I said, that was Steve’s old boss, and the other L made the comment “I guess he thinks Rachel is handling the aftermath pretty well” and we kept dancing and dancing till the song was over and when we got back in the truck, we all felt much better and ready to go put the turkey in – but, alas, I digress too much)…
Back to the reading – I have been saying I’m ready for love – but now I am wondering – my friends say I need to believe in a love that would not compromise Rachel and her new found fabulous life and I say hmm, do I think this is possible….so the question is is this King of Wands that person coming into my life? Or is it me being the boy and the girl in my own narrative – parenting myself, being a child, having fun, being loved, loving, and I’m complete as is?