Summer in the City
I swear the weather has been like living in the tropics here and it is early March. I’ve got some sort of pulled muscle in my elbow so no weights and some pulled muscle down below and so no squats or lunges and so what’s left – yes, you got it, a nice long run along the bayou in the sunshine. The first floor framing is going up on LaLa and I had to go get the big industrial windows that are going on the second floor from the shop today. I remember my friend P saying in California you will carry those windows around and never use them – HA – wrong. I also remember that S and I took these windows down from the warehouse that EHDD was in in the Mission District of SF when they moved after a few decades because the city was kicking them out of the warehouse. I can’t help but remember – because that was my first miscarriage and I thought it was because I had done all that heavy lifting getting the windows out. J at the shop helped me get them in the truck and he was funny cause he said “I wasn’t no boy scout” when we were trying to tie them down with the rope in the truck – so we improvised – I did the only knots I knew and J judged them fine enough. But then he spray painted a paper towel pink for the flag in back, which was also very funny.
Had a very satisfying talk with E today and am going to increase my sessions to an hour and a half – it’s my commitment to her rather than go the drug route which I am adverse to – she’s worried about my hopeless and dark thoughts and I told her, hey I’m worried too, but they pass, and I’d rather go down into the dark quagmire of this and come out the other end then put a bandaid on as a smile and just let it all happen without me being a participant. These things have a way of coming back to haunt you. We talked about love, about family, and about many things that are important to how I process information and relationships – she made me pledge a few things that I will uphold and I felt rather good leaving her and knowing there is again a “to do” list that tells me what to do next.
Dinner with mom – she made arroz con pollo – my favorite of her dishes. We sat around and compared aches and pains and drank some wine and felt horrible about Christopher Reeves’ wife who died and left that poor 13 year old boy with no parents – horrible. I told mom that I had looked up some adoption agencies and was thinking about this more seriously but had decided to wait until next year when my life is more settled. Then L called while I was there – poor thing is still trying to make it through her first trimester and there have been so many scares and emergency room visits that she said she is just ready for anything – and of course, I’m hoping that the worst is behind her and a healthy happy baby is the end reward. They are still trying to fix their house that was flooded from Katrina, they’ve been living with my brother B who finally got his house back together after the big tree came through the roof – and she said the one thing was the roof had finally gotten totally repaired and they were happy and then the cabinets were delivered and the truck ran into the side of the house and totally destroyed one side of the roof and a wall – and the wrong cabinets were on the truck!!! Welcome to life here – try to go through ordinary life stress and add to it 100% of post Katrina stress and you end with some pretty f’d up people.
And meanwhile – work is riding some low wave of uncertainty – people are skittish – will we get bought by a larger concern – or what? Think we were hoping to be bought to grow in new ways but could be we reinvent ourselves as we always do. My usual optimism is taxed right now under the circumstances and my colleagues are weary from speculating what is next. I am talking about some seriously strong, determined women and to see them ALL feeling a little woolly gives me pause. But I can only hope for the best possible road ahead as the industry and we work through the kinks.
The Bean goes to her eye appointment in the morning – hopefully nothing seriously wrong but hope the doc can tell me what might have been causing her episodes. She is getting a little fat – like a tick – not getting her exercise. Mimicking the five pounds her mistress has put on during Mardi Gras excess and traveling and not enough exercise.
And late tonight A IM’d to say that the one thing she knows from reading my blog is that I am loved by a lot of people – big SMILE – don’t I know it – could I have gotten through my life, at least the last year of it, without the love and support of the wonderful friends and family I have – NEVER.